Bah

I’m bummed, busted and disgusted. This week has failed me and I had such high hopes for it. I did everything by the book yet to no avail. Oh well, back to square one. And to ad injury to insult, I’ve been walking with a limp for three days now because of a mysterious pain in my right hip joint. I’ve stretched and gone for walks but nothing is making this uncomfortable tightness go away. I had to actually convince myself to get out of bed this morning and go to work. Lately, I’ve been having way too many days like that, despite the hip pain. It’s surely a sign that something has to give. I need change in my life. The change in weather is fine and it’s definitely helping a little bit. Living in Cali makes you crave a respite from the sun every once in a while and the rain we had was just the break I needed. Rain and gloom makes me pensive and relaxed, which has helped me focus more on changing things up a bit. For the most part, I’m happy with where I am and the progress I’m making. It’s just one big aspect of my life that I’d like to do something about, which I can’t really talk about here, just yet. Well, not in detail, at least. And this week was supposed to be my big break. I’d prepare so hard for it, had dreams about it, fantasized constantly about it.. I’m thinking Mercury must be in retrograde or something, which is what my woo-woo friend would say to explain this unforeseen disaster that should not have been. If nothing else, it’s certainly forcing me be more patient. Although there’s still that feeling inside me that makes me want to scream and just lose my composure. What’s funny is, I’m sick of hearing Mr. EC talk about her love life and she’s sick of hearing me talk about the frustration of waiting for my plan A to come together. But at least I feign interest in her situation and offer input. She tries to brush me off. Hmph. I would be salty if I gave a damn, but since she insists on telling me about her bullshit, she is going to hear about my… struggles.