My cloud landed sometime last week.  I’m still in good spirits but I’m no longer petal open.  Reality has set in.  The other day I realized why I am often apprehensive about dating outside of my race and culture.  It’s because I need the person I will potentially fall in love with to respect me and my background.  The people before me, around me, they made me, they are me.   Like a set of nesting dolls, these folks are within me.  So for my potential love to disregard them is problematic.  Thus, I am very careful in my choosing.  Years ago The Ex wanted me to forsake my family for him but if I’d done that I’d be alone today.  I sacrificed a lot for him. I essentially lost myself and almost my family for him and I ended up spending years rebuilding the relationships I had with my loves and with me. I won’t do that again.  I don’t want someone who would make me choose between myself and them.  Anyway, clarity has set in and I now know what I should do, what’s in my best interest.  It’s easy to get carried away with the possibilities, though.  Fantasizing about the ‘what if’s’ and what not. And I had a lot of fun doing so but I can’t waste any more time on that. My life is now and I haven’t a minute to spare.