Poptart

I think I was about 16 in these pictures. the eyebrows and red lipstick are keeeeling me.

Something that I emailed to Liz while discussing the possibility of her becoming an FBI agent:
I think you're definitely smart enough to make it. you can acquire the physical if you don't think you have it already.
And I believe that (you take your destiny into your own hands) too...I've just been too lazy to take hold of my own destiny and make myself terribly proud, lol. My thing is finding the strength after a long day here at The Plant. When I get home, my first instinct is to veg out :( I mean, I think about what I should be doing but vegging out usually wins, lol. I want to write...maybe for like bust or venus or heck, even a paper or an e-zine or copywriting at an advertising firm. I just want to do more than what I’m currently doing here and flex my brain a WHOLE lot more. I’m afraid that if I don't do something creative soon I just may turn into a damn vegetable, lol.

i think i currently have a green undertone. :( Jenny was on me hard to get my portfolio together but she's been kinda quiet lately. Probably tired of nudging me along. I have a commercial under my belt, I guess that's something. I have few other piddly (imo) things. Now if only I could muster up some more gusto. I need a kick in the ass. I'm terribly afraid of letting myself down...yet all I seem to do is philosophize and go on extended soul searches, lol. this is pitiful. i'm documenting it all now so that I don't forget and whenever i lose focus i can come back here and go "oh yeah."

I'm really digging this dude.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u58ef_xdlF4&feature=related

I gotta find this for my ipod.

Clarity

I worry, I weigh three times my body I worry, I throw my fear around But this morning, there's a calm I can't explain. The rock candy's melted, only diamonds now remain. By the time I recognize this moment, this moment will be gone. But I will bend the light, pretend that it somehow lingered on. Well all I got's Ooh ooh ooh ooh. And I will wait to find If this will last forever. And I will wait to find if this will last forever. And I will pay no mind when it won't. And it won't because it can't. It just can't. It's not supposed to. Was there a second of time that I looked around? Did I sail through or drop my anchor down. Was anything enough to kiss the ground? And say I'm here now and she's here now. Ooh ooh ooh oohOoh ooh ooh ooh. So much wasted in the afternoon. So much sacred in the month of June. How bout you and I will wait to find if this will last forever. And I will wait to find that it won't, and it won't because it won't. And I will waste no time worried 'bout no rainy weather. And I will waste no time remaining in our lives together - John Mayer

John, oh, how I adore thee.

xxoo,
me

True Love (brain dump)

I want it. Does it exist? Surely, I'm capable of it :). I can be devoted; my heart is big enough to carry it all. But I've yet to meet my match. I'm hopeful that he exists.

Romeo and Juliet were on some other shit, though. Maybe they were too naive to know any better. To die for? Really? I can't imagine a heart so broken. Although, a childhood friend of mines allegedly killed himself over a break-up.

Is it that complex, true love? Or just that simple? I've loved... deeply, wholly... but the pain of it ending wasn't enough for suicide to cross my mind. I wonder if it gets better or if that was as good as it gets. I'm thinking the former. I'm currently holding out for that.

So while I dig the idea of love and am quite capable of loving until the ends of the earth (I'm sure. I think), perhaps moderation is what's best. Love me truly and deeply and I'll return the favor. But we don't have to shack up...or do everything together. I don't need an extra limb. I'm having awful thoughts of newlyweds who grocery shop together, arm in arm, who can't stand being apart. Perhaps that's obsession, co-dependence, can't-live-without-you. ...Hmm...if that's it, maybe I don't want true love, after all. lol. Maybe all I want is a whole bunch of passion. That is, until I figure all this shit out.

Weeee!!!! cest la vie

ICONS (kickass bitches I love)

I adore strong, determined, bold, fearless, confident, sexy women. Here's a list of some of my favorites (in no particular order):

Storm (Marvel comics super heroine extraordinaire)

Halle Berry (actress, mother, self-assured babe who played Storm)

Eve Ensler (fearless activist and playwrite)

Taraji P. Henson (actress, mother)

Beyonce (singer, songwriter, business mogul)

E. Jean Carroll (columnist for Elle magazine, author, journalist)

Gwen Stefani (mother, singer, songwriter, wife)

Wonder Woman (DC comics super heroine extraodinaire)

Kimora Lee Simmons (mother, entrepreneur, model, fashion designer)

Lisa Bonet (actress, mother, musician, spiritualist)

Janus Joplin (bold, outspoken, singer, songwriter, ...)

Drew Barrymore (actress, producer, entrepreneur)

Rosario Dawson (actress, writer, activist, producer)

Tyra Banks (model, actress, talk show host, entrepreneur, talent scout)

Pink (singer, songwriter, activist)