Where's my motivation?

Friday afternoon my cousin called me at work hype as hell, talking about meeting her and some friends at a new hot spot in LA to watch the game. "I bought you a Laker shirt and I cut it up for you already so just wear your jeans and a white tank!" Yit ti dee, yit ti dee! But the game started at like 6 or something and LA is a 30 minute drive away from me on a day without traffic. However, this was Friday and in order to get to her I'd have to drive through the heart of downtown in crazy thick, after-work-just-got-paid, rush-hour traffic. So I wasn't too keen on this idea from the start. I had good intentions though. Remember, I did say that I was going to start mingling more, accepting social invites and sifting through frogs to kiss. So when I got off work at 4:30pm, I tried to psyche myself up on the 15 minute drive home. Had the music pumping, getting into GEAR. Then I walked in the door and saw my beloved couch. And next to it was the remote. And on the ottoman was my computer. And in the fridge was all kinds of goodies because I had just gone to Costco. And I had been up since 6am that morning, after all.
Clearly, my ass has a mind of its own because I stripped out of my work get-up and before I knew it I was in my skivvies, my booty was making out with my comfy couch, the remote in one hand, my laptop on my lap, and a quart of peach Haagen Daz sorbet in my other hand. And the longer I sat there in wedded bliss, the more excuses I came up with for not going out. I just couldn't get excited about getting dolled up, driving for roughly 45 minutes, to sit in a bar with a bunch of obnoxious men, mentally sifting through frogs, and then going home even MORE tired. See, my cuzzo and her boyfriend have been arguing a lot lately and are on the cusp of breaking up. During the last game they literally duked it out right outside of ESPN Zone at LA Live for all to see. She won. He's 50 and a drunk. They've been fighting because he's been cheating, which she admits is the way all of his friends and male relatives operate. They have a main girl, and about 10 side boos. Okay, maybe not quite 10, but still. Knowing this, I was far from turned on about going to chill with these folks. Zero motivation indeed, since I already knew that 50% of the place was going to be filled with unkissable, cheating-heart toads. I figured it'd be a waste of time, effort, and gas. An exercise in futility. Yet I felt guilty because I said I was going to start hanging out more. Ah well. Maybe next time.
I'm going out for a jog. brb...
Okay, I'm back! And while I was out, this chubby little down syndrome looking guy (kid? teen? I can't be sure) crossed a busy street and was walking towards me smiling. I had my headphones on thinking, this kid is going to want to talk I bet but I don't have time. So as I approach him he smiles harder and shoves a pen and a letter-sized, blank piece of paper in my direction. I don't know if he said anything because I was rocking out with my ipod on, so I just smiled back and yelled "Oh, hi! Thank you but I don't have time." And I kept it moving. Then I got to the corner and it hit me. Was he trying to mack me for my phone number? lol. Is this what it's come to!? HAHAHA! Oh lordy, me. I'm being picked up by limping, fat, down syndrome teenagers.
I was supposed to go to brunch today but it doesn't look like that will be happening either.
In other news! My mumsie hit a hullabaloo of a jackpot while in Laughlin, Nevada this weekend for my step dads birthday. She called me on their way back to Cali excited, saying that she has the money ($1,100) for my carpet that she promised me, AND the money for our upcoming jazz tickets ($177). "I won a grand!" she said, trying not to let her "left hand" who was driving, know what the right hand is doing. ;) YAY MAMA! I can't wait to find out just exactly how much she really won.

Aye Dios Mio!

I am way too sensitive for my own good. I thought that by now I would've outgrown it but NOPE. I'm still a big ball of tenderness. I don't like it.
Now I'm going to go crawl into my bed and fall asleep before I get any more sentimental and gross yall out.
Ugh

More Frogs to Kiss

This past weekend my older cousin by 6 years (more like my sister since my mom raised her along with me) brought her 50 year old boyfriend over to my house for the first time for our family's annual Memorial Day barbecue. He asked if I had cable TV because he wanted to watch the game. I said that I didn't and apologized that he was missing it. Later she told me that he said I "had it going on" and that he knows "a grip of ******" who would gladly beat each other down to put some cable in my house. Lol. Although an odd sentiment, I was sincerely touched. Truth be told, I wouldn't mind having a boyfriend. However, I'm not pressed to make just any old body my boo. I have standards. Not a long list of unreasonable demands. Just qualities that I feel would compliment who I am and what I have to offer. I'd rather be alone than settle. In fact, I'm quite content by my lonesome, which is why I haven't really gotten out there and made myself "seen" to any potential suitors. I'm thinking of changing that though. Just a teensy weensy experiment to see if I luck up on a prince. Having gotten a glimpse of what kind of toad's are out there already (trumpet guy, le pimp playa himalaya, waiter dude), I feel somewhat prepared to pick the right frog to kiss. Here's to hoping I get it right *crosses fingers
I'm going to venture out, accept some of these social invites I've been getting, and jump start my mojo. Mr. Ed Choppers invited me out with her and her cousin on Sunday. If I go (if they still go) I'll post about it.

Who wears short shorts? / The Terminator

I'm shaped more like the one on the far left from the 80's version of the commercial. However, I can only seem to find shorts made for either the terminally ass-challenged, or the resigned-to-a-fate-of-saggy-assed-dom old lady-type shorts, the "I give up" kind. In other words, too long or too short. Neither of which flatter me. The fashion industry has forced my hand. Therefore, I have decided to cut a few pairs of old jeans, cuff the legs, and make my own shorts. The granny panty shorts, the daisy duke booty cutters, and the granny Magoo almost-capri shorts must cease and desist. These days, finding a pair that flatter your shape is like rocket science. Ugh.

Leaving the movies the other day there was a man in front of us who I am convinced was a robot. His arms stuck out from his sides like they were attached with toothpicks, rather than resting against his sides and/or swinging normally. with each step only his hips twisted and his torso remained stiff. Of course, I was giggling uncontrollably and missed a prime video opportunity. I almost feel guilty posting about him without footage, but I couldn't resist.
They are among us *cue scary music

I have to get into Lois Lane reporter mode and be ready for action at a moments notice. This post without footage is kind of unacceptable.

Am I coming or going? / Damn you, Big John!

My mind is a blur more often than not. I usually find myself running amok with a million thoughts popping into my head of things I must, I need, and I should do. Like Pop-Up video. It's not cool. My To-Do list is a mile long and on about 4-5 sheets of paper. In my purse, in my planner, on a few Post-It's...I've got to find a better way. See, the problem is that the weekend is too short and the week drains me, so I tend to try to cram everything into Saturday and Sunday. Well, this Saturday I woke up at around 6am and I just layed there with my eyes closed thinking of all the things I needed to do. A few weeks ago, a very good friend had invited me over to see her new house. I quickly jotted it down on the dry-erase calendar hanging on my kitchen wall so that I wouldn't forget... and wouldn't have to remember, lol. One less thing to hold in my already over crowded head. And I didn't forget! Hooray! However, I neglected to remind myself to bring something :( So I got up and mindlessly went on with my day, doing laundry, cleaning up, fussing at my son for one thing or another, running a few errands, making a couple of phone calls, just rushing about in order to make sure I showed up at her house on time (1pm). And I did! And the house was absolutely lovely! But then Patty showed up with a great big, gorgeous gift bag and my pride for having remembered to show up and on time went straight down into my gut and wound itself up and around my esophogus. I could've picked something up while I was out that morning but it totally didn't occur to me until then. I felt like shit. But I don't blame Pat at all. She's truly a thoughtful and wonderful friend, and that's partly why we all love her so much. So ever since yesterday all I've been thinking about is how to make up for my oversight but I kind of feel like it's too late and would be too cheesy and impersonal to just have something mailed. FOCK! I truly need a better system because I am not organized as well as I should be. I'm out of control. I need a personal assistant or something.

The other day at work after a very boring teleconference call that damn near drove me stir crazy, I went outside for a breather and decided to call up my mumsy to vent. So I'm standing out by the curb in the shade on my cell yip yapping to mom and feeling the crazy leaving my system with every rant and rave, when I spotted a little pick up truck across the street in the driveway of the convalescent home. Waste Management was written on the driver side door so I knew he was a city worker. He sat in the driveway much longer than necessary because I saw two opportunities for him to make a left or right turn out into the street, but he didn't. He watched me yap, instead. Suddenly, I became slightly self-conscious, wondering how I must look to this strange man and if he would come over to say anything at all. As quickly as I began to wonder I stopped, having lived out this scene many times before and it usually culminated in The Guy not saying anything. It wasn't worth the energy. So I pushed his presence out of my mind and went on with my convo, just about to go back upstairs to work, feeling much better, when he swooped out of the driveway and stopped at the curb right in front of me. He said hi and shoved a flyer in my direction. Told me his name was Big John and that he was giving a party he'd like me to come to. I felt a smile creep onto my face, shook his hand, and told him my name. Then, just like that, he was off. So I took a look at the flyer, scanned down to the bottom and saw this: "30 years and over, NO EXCEPTIONS" and my smile went like this --> :/
I must look my age now. ha! I mean, I get carded at the slots in Vegas, at the liquor store when buying booze for friends/parties, and more than a few kids at my sons school thought I was his sister. But not Big John. He obviously knew I was over 30. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I've always been proud of my age because of the wisdom I'd like to think I've acquired over the years. But I've never really, truly wanted to look it! lol. Not yet, at least. This was all too sudden. I think I needed the news broken to me slowly. haha.
Anyway, I pondered going to Big John's party but yesterday Mai told me that Pacoima, the city that it's taking place in, is full of gangs and ruffian's and not even she, thug lover mami #1, would hang out there. Besides, most 30 and over shindigs consist of a lot of older, pot bellied gentlemen that may have graduated high school around the same time as our parents and rarely ever are there guys right on the cusp and around our age. I'm not looking for an old pervert/sugar daddy who never got married, OR who is married but stepping out to go to Big John's party to see who he can get up on. So, while social, it does not sound like the kind of atmosphere I'd likely enjoy myself in. And I don't even know where Pacoima is.

Thai one on

The cooking class was a success. Mostly because just about everything - the cutting, the chopping, the steaming, and one batch of the chicken - was already prepared for us! Our instructor did have the courtesy of telling us how she seared the chicken and put it in the oven prior to our arrival, and how she steamed the rice over a pot of boiling water. However, hearing how it was done isn't the same as learning how to do it ourselves. You don't exactly learn how to cook by watching the Food Network or Rachel Ray. This was akin to that. The most I did was scramble an egg, soften some rice paper and roll up a spring roll (which was fun, I'll admit). Everyone rolled a spring roll but the rest of our food was prepared by the group as a whole- two people stirred sauces or blended stuff, two dumped sprouts in the pad thai, two mushed peppers, two sauteed some chicken, etc. The peanut sauce (that was made with real peanut butter, by the way) and drizzled over the chicken satee WAS THE BIZ-OMB and I will be making it myself asap. Who knew peanut butter and peppers went so well together. MMmmmm! MMmm! The name of this class was "Thai one on," hence the title of this blog entry.

We look rusted and dusted in these pictures but here go a few. All in all, the set up was wonderful and 90% of the food was delicious (dessert SUCKED. Black rice w/ frosty coconut milk and brown sugar). Our instructor and her assistant were great. My classmates were super cool, with the exception of two Asian girls who screwed up the pad thai because they were dumping sprouts and other ingredients in the bowl with no regard for taste at all. It was basically sprouts with pad thai, rather than the other way around.

Hip Cooks! Here we come!

Tonight, me, Patty and Sharon are meeting at Hip Cooks to try our hand at some delish Thai cuisine. Remember my post about me suddenly hating cooking but loving to eat ? Well, that spawned this mini adventure and I have to say, I am rather excited about it. I'm bringing my camera along, of course, and will take pictures when I remember to, as usual. I don't want to look like too much of a geek though, snapping shots of every little thing. So I doubt there'll be many pictures. I'd look like a lame tourist, like I've never stepped foot in a kitchen before and that'd be embarrassing. No, no, I'm going in there claiming that I know a thing or two...which I do, yet nothing about cooking Thai :). This should be fun. Stay tuned! If I'm not too tired, I'll load the pictures tonight when I get home.

Pool she-bang-bang

Today we filled up the pool in my backyard. I found it on sale last weekend at Big Lots for a hell of a deal and couldn't wait to bust it out. It was warm enough today so the fam came by with lots of food and we all got in. I love my family so much. Here are some of the pictures that I snapped before getting in. That sucker was much bigger than I expected! In this pic it's not full yet.

There was lots of laughter and splashing and my mom ran around squirting everybody with this ridiculous little squirt toy. My cousin got about 20 free beach balls from The Money Store and he actually blew them all up and tossed them in the pool. They made great floaties. Anyway, the bikini pic of me in the cover up is the most I'll display until I drop 20 el bees.

We snuck and ate all the lobster and crab in the kitchen while my nephews and son played video games in his room obliviously .

Today was a good day.

Oh shit! Laila Ali, watch out!

I’m just playing girl ;) But I’m drinking milk! And yesterday I was floating like a butterfly, stinging like a bumble bee, and soon I just may be able to spar with you in the ring!
I feel like a champ this morning. After work yesterday my son’s dad and his brother stopped by to help him get into shape for football season. Keeping my goal of being “Fly in July” in mind, I decided to get up off the couch and go out back to join them. I took my jump rope with me, thinking I’d just skip some rope (like Muhammed Ali himself) while I had the company. The next thing I know, I’m wearing the pink boxing gloves (pink for breast cancer) I bought last year that have been collecting dust in my closet, and I’m jabbing, dodging, and upper-cutting the mitts on my ex’s hands like I’m Laila and the mitts are my bosses round, cherub face. When he started imitating my boss, menacingly telling me to deliver “TPS reports” and goofy stuff like that, I was trying to Pacquiao his hands, son! I had my ipod plugged into my Bose docking station sitting in the window and – you guessed it – Eye of the Tiger was pumping out on repeat. I am so sick of that song, now, lol. I’m thinking about deleting it from my playlist.
When I went back inside, I happily placed a big, black X on my calendar indicating that I had broke a sweat on March 4th :) Then the endorphins, coupled with a nice, warm shower had me calling hogs by 10pm. I slept like an infant.
Today I’ll go for my daily walk at lunch, then when I get home I’ll jump some more rope, do some push ups, crunches and squats. I gave up on Hungry Girl’s website for the moment and started perusing webmd.com for food tips. So far, so good, I haven’t had junk food since Friday *knock on wood.

getting fit and so long le pimp

okay, so i took my "before" picture the other day and it's faaaar from pretty. Much worse than I thought. Pictures tell such a different story than the mirror. I don't know if I'll ever post that mug, lol. I might just put up the "after" picture only so no one will vomit. I also downloaded Eye of the Tiger, as discussed in my chat with Claudine last week, and today we're supposed to do our measurements. Finding food to eat is going to be the most challenging, I think. I hit up Hungry Girls website and came up empty handed because my grocer doesn't carry any of the stuff she suggests, nor does it look all that tasty.
In other news, I think pimp playa himalaya has finally given up. He stopped calling and texting, which is a relief, however, I suspect he's ruined my new friendship with the two ladies that were in his party :( He's clearly a dog but their first loyalty lies with the group and I guess if they think he's into me or that I'm into him, and they know the girlfriend he's trying to cheat on, well, yeah, I'm going to remain on the outside and there will be no salsa dancing this weekend or the next :(. Ah well. Sucks because I couldn't give a shit about him. He didn't even know what insomnia was, lol.

And wouldn't you know, they ordered pizza today

Right after this conversation. And I had 2 slices :/
I'll start my program first thing in the morning :) and I have comrades now! See below:

Scout [10:45 AM]: hey. you still working out
Claudine [10:45 AM]: yup!
Scout [10:45 AM]: want to start a semi challenge?
Claudine [10:46 AM]: lol.. what's the challenge
Scout [10:46 AM]: my goal is to be bikini/hotpants ready by july 4th weekend
Claudine [10:46 AM]: LOL
Scout [10:46 AM]: i'm going to take before and after pics
i'm starting today :/
Claudine [10:47 AM]: that's about 2 months
Scout [10:47 AM]: still not enough time, lol
but i'm going to push myself to look GREAT by that time
wanna do a biggest loser-like challenge?
Claudine [10:47 AM]: lol.. ok what are the rules?
Scout [10:48 AM]: well, we have to begin today. go home and take pictures of yourself in something revealing, like a bikini . THEN, when we reach our deadline we take ANOTHER photo and weigh in
then we treat ourselves, lol
Claudine [10:49 AM]: LOL
ok. i think we should do measurements too
not just weight.. but i want to lose inches
Scout [10:49 AM]: so take the pic, yeah and do measurements too and weigh yourself
me too. do you have measuring tape over there?
Claudine [10:49 AM]: i can bring it tomorrow if you want
Scout [10:50 AM]: who else can we get to suffer with us?
Claudine [10:50 AM]: you'll have an advantage this month though
cuz i've been working out, so i'm not at my peak weight losing
hmm... who would want to suffer....
Scout [10:50 AM]: i'm not either, really.
all that walking and it doesn't work anymore
i'm going to have to up the ante
Claudine [10:51 AM]: honestly, i don't know anyone else that would want to participate
Scout [10:51 AM]: maybe i'll jog
i've been walking around my 'hood
but i want to lose this tire around my waist BAD
Claudine [10:52 AM]: haha.. i know exactly what you mean
Scout [10:52 AM]: it's sitting in my lap laughing at me as i type this, lol
Claudine [10:52 AM]: ok... july 4th is a saturday
LOL!
Scout [10:52 AM]: we'll share our pictures the following weekend
Claudine [10:52 AM]: sounds good to me
I'm down
Scout [10:52 AM]: BET! yay!
Claudine [10:52 AM]: hahaha
as long as i'm not losing money
Scout [10:53 AM]: exactamundo!
win-win
Claudine [10:53 AM]: ok, cool
let me know if you find any other victims, i mean, participants
Scout [10:53 AM]: what about steph?
Claudine [10:53 AM]: OH YEAH
she has to.. she's going to be in a wedding!
Scout [10:53 AM]: PERFECT!
*insert wicked laughter here
Claudine [10:54 AM]: LOL
you want to tell her or should i?
Scout [10:56 AM]: oh, could you?
since you're over there already
Claudine [10:57 AM]: no problemo
Scout [10:57 AM]: i'm kind of excited
Claudine [10:57 AM]: lol. for now!
hahahhaa
Scout [10:57 AM]: haha. i know
Claudine [10:58 AM]: ok, i'm telling steph
hey, if you want some help, www.sparkpeople.com is a great website
Scout [10:59 AM]: oooh! i'll check it out. thx
Claudine [10:59 AM]: sure.. my doctor recommended it
also, you can go on youtube and put 5 minute workouts..
and there are 5 minute mini workout videos
Scout [10:59 AM]: GOOD ideas!
Claudine [11:00 AM]: you can do all of them in sequence, and i think it's about.. 30 minutes of strength training
Scout [11:00 AM]: training videos will be obsolete soon
Claudine [11:00 AM]: yup
ok.. good luck missy!
Scout [11:00 AM]: now i'm hearing the rocky theme in my head
Claudine [11:00 AM]: lol
Scout [11:00 AM]: you know, i think i'll add that to my ipod for motivation, lol
Claudine [11:01 AM]: hahaha.. do it
Scout [11:01 AM]: I shall. good luck to you too, partner
Claudine [11:03 AM]: Stephanie [11:03 AM]:
I'M TOTALLY IN!!!!!!!!!
Claudine [11:03 AM]: woot! lol
Scout [11:03 AM]: HOLLA!!!!
Claudine [11:03 AM]: haha.. ok, yay!
i'm pretty excited
Scout [11:04 AM]: ALL ABOARD THE "GET FLY" EXPRESS! WOOT WOOT! LOL
Claudine [11:04 AM]: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
that's hilarious
ok.. i think i'll start tonight
yay!!
Scout [11:05 AM]: so i'll be checking in with you guys periodically
Claudine [11:05 AM]: ditto
Scout [11:05 AM]: we have to stay motivated
Claudine [11:05 AM]: ok
cool..

Beach ball tossing season is upon us

Time to peel off the layers now that the weather is warming up. Bikini’s have been in stores since early March for some bizarre reason, jumpstarting the season ridiculously soon and putting mad pressure on us hibernators to get fit. I know, because I took my jiggly ass into Target and Old Navy looking for workout clothes around that time and ended up annoyed with the lack of yoga pants on the racks. Retailers are too ambitious and not following seasonal protocol which dictates that around March we begin to reshape our curves (less is more, lol) and come June, we’re beach ready. So, unsurprisingly, I’m not ready. I have two cute new swimsuits though, that I bought at a super bargain. However, they may never see the beach this summer if I don’t get my rear into gear. I can't even say that I'm shorts ready :( I don't want to have to wear soccer mom shorts. Therefore, my goal is to haul ass and be bikini and shorts ready by the 4th of July weekend (Memorial Day weekend may be a bit too ambitious for me). It’s going to be challenging but I’m up for it. My son has started football practice and will be working extra hard himself with bootcamp/hell week on the horizon, so I plan to box and lift weights and run around the neighborhood with him after work and on weekends.

Now that it's in bold, black print, tossed out into the universe for others to see, I have to end my couch potato ways and force myself to complete this mission. And to further push myself, I will post before and after pics following the weekend of July 4th.
OMG, now I'm nervous. If anyone wants to join me in my suffering, please let me know :), lol.