Roots Pre-Grammy Jam last night

And I didn't get home until 4am. Performances and appearances by The Roots, Ledisi, Estelle, The Mighty Mos Def, Jay Electronica, Scott Storch, Phonte/Foreign Exchange, Bilal, Linkin Park, Slim Thug, John Legend, David Banner (was in the audience), Kwame (was in the audience with us), etc. etc.

I have never stood for so long in my LIFE! I wore comfortable, rubber soled, wedge boots and was still walking out of there half crippled after standing for so long, so I can only imagine how those dummies in high heels must've felt, smh. I mean, whenever they tell you it's standing room only you do NOT even consider wearing heels. Wtf is wrong with people? I was told one girl sat down on the floor and took off her stilettos and then had to be carried out.

Anyway, I've got a video snippet I'd like to share. It's a snippet because, as some of yall know, I like to dance at shows and will get you dizzy with my video footage, lol. So I spared yall this time and turned the camera off when I felt the rhythm creeping up my spine :) But here ya go!

Get, Get, Getitgirrrrrrl!

I stuck to my plan and went straight to the gym after work yesterday. I have a new "friend" ;) who's helping me get in shape *swoon (his body is SICK!), and telling me what to eat. So yesterday, at his behest, I ate a bunch of healthy and semi-healthy snacks to kick my metabolism into high gear. I was eating and munching ALL day, so when I got to the gym I went hard with the workout. Push ups, crunches on an incline, some thigh machine thing where you lie on your stomach and bend your legs at the knees to lift the weight, and then an hour on the stepper/cross ski thing. 45minutes into my step/ski routine and I was no longer the Energizer Bunny. I was the damn competitor bunny :(. The LCD screen on the machine said "pedal backwards" so, being the trooper that I am, I did and just about died. OMG, after going 45 minutes strong of pedaling forward my thighs and butt were already pretty fatigued, so to then pedal backwards ??? That was the kill move. My stride slowed down considerably and I was hanging on to the machine for dear life, trying to finish out the hour, not caring who saw me. I made it to the hour and skipped the 5 minute cool down, but when I got off the machine I was wobbly as hell, lol. The walk from the gym to my car was the cool down.

Today, I'm not sore, thankfully, because I've been pretty active for a while now. But I definitely feel reminders of yesterday's workout. My friend says I need to eat more, especially if I'm going to continue to work out this hard, but I don't know how I'm going to do it. I'm never really that hungry. This is why celebs are in better shape than us - they have trainers AND personal chef's so they don't have to do anything but follow directions and sit down and eat. I have to create my own meals and routine.

Anyway, so after I left the gym last night I ate an apple in the car on the way to the petstore to buy Seth (our gecko) some worms and crickets. Then when I got home I grilled some salmon and ate a cup of steamed carrots after my shower and shampoo. My eyes got heavy around 9pm lying on the couch, and by 10 I was sleeping like a rock. Of course, today I am taking it sort of easy. I have dinner plans with a good friend and after that I'm reading a book and calling it a night. Yay me! This'll be a habit soon...I hope.

I was supposed to go to the gym tonight

But since I'm not going I feel tremendously guilty. We've been in there strong, 3-4 days a week since January 1st. And today I just couldn't bring myself to get up and go and suddenly, I feel like a big fat failure. I'm afraid I'm going to fall off and all my efforts will have been for nothing. I'm going tomorrow, no matter what. I just have to get my mind right early in the day, I think.

This is what I forfeited cable TV for. I have to go.

I'm waiting on an email. I've been waiting since, oh, about 12pm today. It's not a good look, waiting on an email. It's all you can think about. Utterly distracting. So I close my laptop and walk away to do something else. But before long I'm wondering if the email has finally come so I check. And I check...and I check. Now the minute I finally give up on checking, the damn email is going to come. Watch. That's how these things always work. I hate this. I'm suspended in suspense.

Okay, I'm going to check one more time and then I'm shutting down the computer.

A few random thoughts before I leave for the day

Yesterday on my way home from work I saw a magnificent rainbow coming down out of a cloud and appearing to end in my backyard. I was on the freeway when I spotted it and the first thing that came to mind was "there must be a pot of gold in my backyard" lol. Yes, I'm silly, in case you haven't figured that out by now.

The baby finally came! This morning around 6am. And she looks just like her dad did when he was born: like a little bubble eyed lizard. She keeps sticking her tongue out just like he did, too.

I am becoming obsessed, and not in a good way, with Facebook :( It's affecting my mood. WTH?

It could rain for two more weeks straight and I wouldn't complain. I love this! And we damn sure needed it.

Now I shall begin my weekend. Enjoy yours, please!

A Very Zen Birthday

Last year on my birthday Barack Obama was being inaugurated. It was all over my TV and all that anyone could talk about, including my mother. She called me up bright and early that morning bursting with excitement about how history was being made, how great Michelle Obama looked in her dress, and just how wonderful the day was in general. I listened and waited...and then waited some more. No "Happy Birthday" from the woman that birthed me.

So I tried giving her a hint; I agreed with her that today was a great day and all that jazz but wondered aloud if there was anything else special about today, maybe something a little more personal. She couldn't think of anything. I dropped a slew of hints and continued to come up snake eyes with her. For 10 whole hours 34 years ago that day last year, she laid in labor giving birth to her one and only child and it did not occur to her that it was our anniversary. I was hurt. I felt unloved and insignificant. That whole birthday was downhill from there.

But this year, I removed my heart from my sleeve. My only expectations for today were to relax at home, watch movies in the rain, and basically just blow the day off doing little to nothing. And to my surprise the love poured in from every direction :) Calls all day long. I ended up being treated to lunch too, despite flash flood warnings on the news. I took off work, played on the internet, ate junk food, watched chick flicks, and didn't brush my teeth until 5 pm. It was fabulous! My gift to me this year was a choice between a pair of $180 jeans and a $15 kooky Zen comedy book. Denim or book. I decided on the book. Nobody's denim is worth damn near $200.

Today I am 35 years young and completely at peace :D

I've surrendered

and finally joined the masses of people on Facebook. I drank the Kool-Aid yesterday at about 5pm after having been badgered for more than a year by friends and family. Believe it or not, I'm private :P And Facebook seems like it demands just a little too much information. But I've decided not to give up TMI and just use it to view pics, keep up with my boo-boo's (nieces and neph's) and keep some folks in the loop with me without them reading this here bloggity-blog. The world is too small and I have talked a tad bit of shit on here that not everyone needs to read. If ya feel me ;)

Anyway, I'm already slightly annoyed with it, lol, because it IS tmi. My niece posted the other day "Ash has finally seen the light," which was followed by a series of questions by everyone else asking what the hell Ash had seen. It turns out, Ash is playing secret squirrel, too and doesn't want to say :/ Just know that she has been enlightened. That's my boo-boo :)

So, I am no longer the last person on Earth to join Facebook. I've lost the battle but not the war...as long as this blog is kept sacred.

(False Alarm) The baby's on her way! Yay!

The baby is not on her way as previously posted. Her mother is over anxious, it seems. Yesterday they sent her home, yet again and allegedly she's dilated only two centimeters and isn't budging. The bambino is snug as a bug in a rug and isn't trying to come out. So we wait. Hopefully, she'll hold out until my birthday next week.

Ay, dios mio

They're going to listen to me someday. I knew this would happen and I couldn't resist saying "I TOLD ya so." My nephew is an immature 18 year old. Duh, right? He turned 18 in October and he still crawls into my mothers bed and cuddles with her like he's still two years old. His main ambition up until 8 months ago was fun, sex, fun, sex and more fun and sex. I can't think of one person who didn't know this about him. Including his now "baby's mama" :(

It was clear from the very beginning that he was dating her because she drove him everywhere he wanted to be and paid his way. She's...very accommodating. A week before his prom he broke up with her and was taken to the prom by two other girls. He's always had other girls. The very next day Tiye, his soon-to-be-born daughter's mother, called him and told him she was pregnant and keeping the baby.

Only he and I were devastated over this news. Call me Ms. Cleo because now, 8 months and a couple weeks away from delivering, Tiye is using the baby as leverage against him and threatening to omit his last name on the birth certificate, and my nephew is a wreck.

I hate that he is serving as the very example that I told my son not to be - giving someone else authority to dictate your life. If you're going to have sex like a grown person, don't do it all willy nilly; wrap it up! This is your life that's on the line.

So we went to Tiye's baby shower on Saturday and she told us that she'd finally - after more than two point 5 years of nonsense! - had enough of my nephew's nonsense. Ya don't say? It took you this long, huh? Right before the baby is born, and now you want to get fed up. How convenient. I guess it's better to get some sense late than never.

They're going to learn to listen to me someday.

I miss my friend

I don't know what happened to us. We used to be so close we'd finish each others sentences. I wouldn't say we've grown apart; more like our lives have become uneven, if that makes sense. We don't have as much in common as we used to and, for some reason, she decided to disappear on her birthday this past June after briefly reappearing in my life. It sucks that as you get older your friends are nothing like they were when you were younger. That insane closeness, that initmacy is gone. I've shared some of my deepest feelings with her without fear. And maybe it was just me being young and romanticizing it as though we shared this Judy Blume-type friendship, because in hindsight she wasn't all that great of a friend, lol. But she listened...and she made me laugh and feel good about myself. And I knew that if no one in the world understood me, she did. Or she'd damn sure try, talking to me until she did. Somewhere along the way all that took a wrong turn and here we are today...estranged.

I found Famous Amos

He's in Honolulu. I forgot to post this but while perusing the outdoor mall in Honolulu we passed by a curiously familiar cookie shop called "Chip and Cookie" and when I looked in the window I saw a black man in shorts, a hat, and a Hawaiian shirt who looked extremely familiar. When he disappeared into the back of the cookie shop I saw this:

When I told my mother she said that he was originally from Oahu before he moved to LA in the 70s, started Famous Amos' cookie shop in Hollywood, got big, got ripped off, lost his name to the bigger cookie dealers, and then disappeared.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wally_Amos <----the Wally Amos story of fame, fortune, and a big ass loss

I hope he's doing well these days. Looked like he was.

My boy made the baseball team!

He's so excited. He sent me three text messages in one minute and had to sign off for practice. And yesterday when I came home from work he said "I've got good news but don't wig out, mom" So of course, I said "what?!"

"Guess who's back together?" he said, cheesing big time.

So even though Marina is moving to Oregon next month, she still wants to "be" with him, as he explained it. He's floating on cloud 9 right about now and I'm cheesing watching him. His happy is my joy joy :D

We joined the gym

And yesterday was our second day going. So far, I've walked/ran on a treadmill, rode a bike, and cross country...ski'd? I don't know what that machine is called but it was sort of like riding a bike without a seat and using your arms to ski. I'm too shy to go downstairs and use the weights because that's where all the guys hang out. My boy is gung-ho though. He's in there like a warrior and kind of over doing it. I had to tell him to relax on that cross country ski machine thingy before he lost control and bopped himself in the mouth. But were it not for him, I'd be working out in my living room to exercisetv.tv. I'm glad he's bugging me to get out of the house and workout though, because it really does something good for my mood. I've noticed that I haven't been feeling as antsy and stressed as I used to, and I've been getting better rest (Sunday - today). I hate to say this but a burglar could let himself in through a window and throw a party in my living room and I wouldn't know until I found the mess at sunrise. It's been me and my pillow against the world. No time to focus on minute details in the grand scheme of it all, and I like that a lot :) I'm making progress and ticking things off my to-do lists with fury. Y es, listS. I've become anal but the gym is going to solve all that.

Reflecting

Yesterday as I was driving my son's two friends home from the mall I realized just how charismatic and funny my boy is. He cracked great jokes and said all the right things. I didn't cringe once. It still baffles me sometimes that he's no longer a baby and almost all grown up. He's a good friend, funny, and wiser than I was at his age, and I'm beyond proud of him. At that moment I felt like I'd done a great job as a mom.
While we were in Hawaii I had a similar feeling. We drove out to the North shore and stumbled upon a two-way road that led us down to a semi-secluded beach framed by lush green mountains, sunshine, and fog. Of course, we got out of the rental car and started snapping pictures like crazy tourists, giggling at our great fortune like bandits, and marveling at this place that previously only existed for us on TV. It was like finding buried treasure, simply amazing. Waves rolling in, warm sunshine and sand between our toes, majestic green mountains behind us, and no place else to be :). We had "Christmas in Jamaica" by Toni Braxton on repeat in the car serving as our theme song. And on the way back down that road we sang along to "Snowflakes" (even though it was 80 degrees outside without a trace of snow in sight) and I was just overflowing with joy. That was definitely the bonding experience I had hoped for, and that moment, not so much the turtles or anything else we did, defined the trip for me. It was the sweet spot of that week and I'll never forget it. As I took in the sight, sound, and smell of it all, I thanked God repeatedly that I was able to share that with my son. I love him more than anything and want us to be as close as, if not closer than, I am with my mother. And me and her are like peas and carrots ;)

See these dance moves...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQaYXaPliIs

this was me last night when this song came on. Except I had on a black sequin mini halter dress and some 5 inch stiletto's, nursing a cold with Sudafed. Specifically after the 2minute mark, though? That's ALL me. I was doing all those moves. But when I tried to drop down low and sweep the floor with it I almost didn't make it back up, lol. Boy did I have fun dancing to that song. And it wiped me out. I put all I had into that one jam, as though I were The Great Beyonce herself, and by 11pm I was out of commission and stretched out in the booth. Thank goodness I decided to pack a pair of non-skid socks in my clutch. Happy New Year :)
Guess what song is going on my ipod workout mix? Yep.