Thursday, July 29, 2010

More of my life's ambitions

1. Figure out how to make the perfect Pad Thai

2. Build a house with Habitat for Humanity or some other do-gooder organization

3. Sing solo for a live audience

4. Relax in the devils pool http://www.environmentalgraffiti.com/offbeat-news/devils-swimming-pool/1099

5. Drive on the Autobahn in Germany

6. Learn to make a healthy cheesecake (damn this cholesterol!)

7. Visit Italy

8. Help raise my grandchildren (someday…far, far away from today)

9. Learn to make healthy lasagna

10. Learn how to sail and then …

11. …sail Bermudas Great Sound

12. Visit Jamaica

13. Learn to speak French Creole (my grandmae would be proud)

14. Go to Mardi Gras in Louisiana

15. Zip line through the jungle in Costa Rica

16. Stand under a waterfall on a tropical isle

17. Get paid to do what I love

18. Grow old with the love of my life

19. Or live as a Golden Girl with my mother and two friends

20. Have very few regrets

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

Time

It’s the one thing I’d wish for more of if I was ever given a genie who grants wishes. Time to spend an afternoon lying around and reading everything I can get my hands on. Time to watch all of my favorite movies in one sitting and not feel like I’ve lost a day of productivity. Time to sit and talk to my son and listen to him rant with enthusiasm about MMA and all the other things that he’s passionate about (it's really cool to hear him talk about Kimbo Slice and the others). Time to daydream and be creative. Time to try out every recipe in every cookbook that I own. Time to sleep in really late. Time to stop and smell the roses! Instead, I have to prioritize my time and usually the good stuff, the things I’d rather be doing, take a backseat to the things I must do. I’d like to trade this Superwoman cape in for a pair of pajamas, my work clothes for sweats, my watch for a bowl of cherries. Recently, my doctor told me that, for the 3rd year straight, my cholesterol is too high and that I need to exercise more. But I don’t have time, which means that if I don’t do something about my lifestyle, I could die of heart disease. So in essence, I am too busy dying to live. My life is a contradiction but I don’t know how to change it. I just keep piling more stuff onto my plate with the intention of improving my lot, but usurping more of my time in the process. For instance, all this planning for the future that I’m doing takes time. Meanwhile, I rarely ever live for each moment. What did one of the Beattles say? Something about life going on while you were too busy making plans? Clearly I need to slow down. In my defense, I’ve gotten better at managing my time for the mundane. The caveat is that I can’t seem to find enough time to do all of the enjoyable things that I want to do. After today, I’m planning to live it up for at least a month before getting back into my routine of responsibility. I’m taking me and my son to Disneyland, we’ll have a picnic at the beach with our kites, I’m buying tickets to a show at the Hollywood Bowl, I’ll be sleeping late on Saturday morning, and spending all day Sunday in my pajamas, for starters. I think I’ll let my recycling pile up again, too. Maybe if I rebel, rage against the machine a little bit, I'll get more exercise and learn how to cook vegan dishes that might save me from developing heart disease. I don't know but I'm damn sure going to try.

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

I’m in a decorating mood



The other day while visiting a relative I stumbled across an old, bright red record player that inspired me. I was instantly 8 years old again, wearing my heart rimmed sunglasses and playing my Mary Poppin’s “Spoonful of Sugar” and Snow White records. Ha. I thought about my mothers Prince album (the one with him riding the Pegasus naked) and her MJ “Off the Wall” and Chaka Khan albums, where Chaka and her daughter are wearing glamorous silk outfits sitting in their “living room.” I loved that album cover because it reminded me of my mother and me. Or rather, what I had wished we would be – sitting around in silk get ups, being beautiful and stuff.

The nostalgia that I felt seeing that little red gem abandoned in that garage between a bunch of random, partially discarded junk, but still bright and shiny despite all the dust, made me think that I needed to rescue it and take it home with me. It made me realize that too many of the items in my home needed to be more than just functional, but a true representation of me, my life, and my loves. That sassy little record player was going to waste, when it could be loved and cherished again in my living room. But my pack-rat aunt wasn’t parting with it. Ugh. So now I’m on a redecorating/rescue mission. Any excuse to thrift is a good excuse, in my book.

I have many unique items in my home that are near and dear to me, but for the most part my stuff is purely practical, almost robotic and really insignificant that if I were to lose certain items, I wouldn’t particularly care. They could easily be replaced. But I don’t want easily replaceable, meaningless, purely functional things. I want to give my home more charm and more me. So I’ve decided to recreate my space by adding things that have meaning to me as well as function. Even if that function is just to make me smile. For instance, I’m planning to mat and frame all of my mom’s old modeling pictures - the black & whites as well as the colored ones - in similar but non-matching frames and place them on my sofa table. I want people to walk into my home and 90 percent of its contents are awe-inspiring conversation pieces. If not awe-inspiring, at least they’ll be smile-worthy, inviting, and interesting, rather than just practical. This is obviously going to take a lot of time, but that’s the fun of it. I get to go thrifting and “junking,” as my uncle calls it, on a regular basis. And I get to experience the thrill of finding lost/buried/abandoned treasure and, hopefully, things that are meaningful to me. Like my mothers old modeling pictures from the 60s, or my mom’s promise ring from my dad, which I have stuffed in a box in my closet (I’m going to frame that too). I’ll have things cleaned off, blown up, refurbished, revamped, and reinvigorated, then placed on display as happy reminders of my past. Things that warm my heart and make me smile whenever I walk into a room and see them. I plan to begin this coming weekend by rummaging through my mothers’ closets and storage bins. If I find some particularly sweet items I’ll consider posting about them.


Monday, July 19, 2010

My weekend at the jazzfest

It wasn't as hot as I had anticipated. Although, by the end of the night I thought I had heatstroke :( We went for a late night bite at Denny's and I could barely sit up in the booth and finish my breakfast. A long time family friend, who is more like family than a friend, sings background for a bunch of groups (namely, Loose Ends) and knows Rahsaan Patterson and Lalah Hathaway. She told me to come back down the hill that I was lying on in "a little bit" so that she could introduce me to Rahsaan (I wasn't thinking 'bout Lalah. Dude was my Kids Incorporated crush. And yes, I know he's not checking for ladies ;) I still love him) but I'd just polished off a big plate of catfish, shrimp and french fries and laid down on my blanket not to get back up for a "long time" and ended up missing him because I was too lazy to go back down the hill :( Ah well. I had a good time though. Not as great as the Vegas City of Lights Jazz fest, but it was nice. Charlie Wilson cut up. I couldn't believe that old ass man, lol. He had dancers in shiny suits and pyrotechnics and stuff, lol, gyrating all up on the microphone stand.

Handful of Pics:







Wednesday, July 14, 2010

I'm not in love

Although some days I want to be. I miss the rush of desire, fantasizing about someone every other minute of my day, feeling high, and losing myself in hedonism.

Other days I’m glad that I’m not because love can be complicated. It often times gets in the way of the best laid plans, sidetracking your life until the spell subsides or is completely over. And I’ve got a full list of plans that I want to accomplish by a certain point in my life. I’m in high pursuit of them, too. So if I happen to stumble on love in pursuit of my goals, then great. I’d consider myself extremely fortunate. But I’m not holding my breath. I know loves a rare occurrence, especially at my age. The age of practicality and reservations.

I’m currently, in fact, not in love. And neither is he, I’m sure. We’re keeping company, passing time. I know that if I said this to him he’d likely deny that he feels this way, and I know that’s only because he doesn’t want to risk losing the perks of our relationship. But we’re keeping time. That’s all. There’s no forever between us, no long time affair in store. It’s clear to me that it’s temporary, yet just how long temporary is remains to be seen. We’re not in love though, that’s for sure. We don’t behave like two people who are smitten with one another. It’s sort of like we’re just agreeing not to be alone. For this time in our lives, we’re choosing to keep company as opposed to no company at all. We hang out, we share meals, a warm bed some weekends, and it’s… nice. I wish I was thrilled about it, though.

Here’s my favorite article on the subject: http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1704672,00.html

Monday, July 12, 2010

Blah

I am not bright eyed and bushy tailed this morning. You’d think I spent my weekend swinging from a chandelier, but nope. We went to the movies, dinner, and breakfast, but otherwise it was a pretty quiet and relaxed two days, 3 nights. I’m hoping the French toast that I just got from the cafeteria will help to liven me up a bit. As it stands, I feel like doo doo on a stick – unpleasant, disgusting and pointless. If it weren’t for this gig, I’d still be buried up to my neck in covers with the fan blasting on me, groggy and unable to seize the day, as I don’t typically get out of bed for anything less than my wage or a good time. So, thinking of my bills and the prospect of good times to come, I have forced myself up and out and here I sit, waiting for this severe case of the Monday’s to pass.

About my weekend: We saw Despicable Me and although I am truly sick of this 3-D craze, I really enjoyed the movie (when it was in focus). It wasn’t long enough, in my opinion, though. But it felt complete, didn’t drag on like Toy Story 3 did, and the characters were all well thought out. …except the dog. I still don’t quite get the dog but there weren’t but a handful of scenes with him/it in it so I wasn’t too bothered by him/it. I think that was a dog, lol. I suppose that was the point. Nobody knew what the hell that thing was.

Anyway, blah. Two hours on the grind and I still feel like crap. I hope nobody comes along to ride my nerves.

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Randomness

I’m losing the hair battle. Today my hair is pinned up in a librarian’s bun because I’ve run out of styling ideas and have grown tired of my usual curly styles. I want to straighten my hair so so bad but I’m not giving up just yet. This weekend I plan to experiment a bit with it and surf the net for new styles.

My friend found a photographer for our glamour shots. She says that he charges $100 for 100 pictures, which includes hair and make up if we want it. She thinks that’s too expensive. Frankly, I don’t trust anyone willing to do hair and makeup AND photos for under $200 bucks. I understand the economy isn’t doing so well and people are struggling to bring home the bacon, but that’s sheer insanity. What kind of make up is he using, stuff bought from the .99 cent store?? I can only imagine what manner of clown face this guy would give me. So, yeah, no, I’ll pass on that one. I asked if he had sample photos we could see and I’m waiting to hear back.

I told my mother about the 60 year old perv and last Friday’s incident. She said that years ago, when we were kids, my older cousin told her that he’d attempted some perversion with her as well. We were all at a slumber party hosted by his daughter at their home. My cousin was about 16 years old at the time and dumped with us kiddies for the party. While we were all snoozing on a pallet on the floor, she said that she woke up to him slowly lifting the covers at our feet in the middle of the night. So she started moving around and kicking, pretending to still be asleep but moving so much that she threatened to wake me, who was lying right next to her. Eventually, he dropped the covers and left but ever since then and until this very day she has been leery of him. She’s about to turn 41 this month. I wish I had known this years ago.

More jazz in the park this year. We bought tickets to the annual jazz fest around my way for next weekend and I’m really looking forward to it. They say that this new park that they’ve decided to host it at has personal hot tubs you can rent. I doubt I’ll be sitting in a hot tub while watching/listening to the show but I am curious. I may post pictures.

I want to go back to Hawaii. I missed some spots. I know I said that I wasn’t happy with Waikiki because it felt like I’d traveled in a big circle and ended up right back at the beach in LA, but the rest of the island, the parts that we drove to, were so magnificent. And I just know that the parts that we missed were even better. This time I’d like to stay on the North Shore of the island at Turtle Bay. Or maybe I’d stay in Waikiki again since there are more hotel options and close proximity to the airport, and then just drive around everywhere. But ideally, I’d stay in a timeshare. That’s my goal! To buy a timeshare in Hawaii J I still have Kauai, the big island, Lanai, and Maui to visit. And I’m still kicking myself for not finding the restaurant where Adam Sandler met “Lucy” in 50 First Dates, and for not trying Poi, among other things

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

This fourth of july weekend i got the creeps

Last Friday night I got hoodwinked into driving an hour away from home to Ontario to celebrate a 60 year old long, LONG time family friends' birthday. My mother and uncle Bob went to Catholic school with him, they met in 2nd grade, so he goes way back with us. Back far enough that we consider him family. I grew up calling him "uncle".
Well, at the disco/bar/club birthday celebration at the hotel I was dragged to the dance floor with about six other women to surround the birthday geezer with "dancing Betty's". And while dancing like a maniac, he gleefully went from Betty to Betty, as cajoled, looking like Steve Martin in The Jerk, and when he stopped at me he suddenly lost his balance and head butted my bosom. O_O Ugh. Now, prior to this I'd noticed him checking out my "girls" periodically over his drink and then quickly looking away whenever I'd catch him. So I did not think for one moment that his stumble was innocent. Especially after I had confirmed with him that he was not drunk. This wasn't an isolated incident either. At previous family gatherings whenever I'd go to hug him goodbye he'd try to kiss me, so I would aim for his cheek. Well this time, this lousy pervert turned his face just in time for me to end up kissing him on the lips, instead of his cheek!! That was the 3rd strike and final straw. The gloves have come off and my temperment has been adjusted to HIGH. I will embarrass the hell out of him if he ever tries anything else. I mean loud, indiscreet and direct. I will attempt to draw blood and destroy his soul, if provoked. It's either me or him.
He is a creepy old man who cheated on his wife of 25 years with a girl that I grew up with, and I can't even pretend to imagine being remotely interested in his advances. I feel extremely violated and disgusted.