The Chinese folks emailed me back:

Dear Valerie,
Yes, we can refund full payment to you for any reason. Would you mind simply let us know the reason for return ? Also, did you return the boot to us already. We will refund full payment to you after we confirm everything. Don't worry, we will not keep your money if you really want refund.
Thank you for your patience !

Bastards. I emailed them over a week ago requesting a return. I bet they're finally responding because Mastercard roughed up Paypal and Paypal in turn roughed them up (the bootleggers) . I don't trust those janky motherfuckers but I'm damn sure going to ship those retarded looking boots back to them and have MC iron out getting me my money back in the meantime. I couldn't even stand to look at the box they came in so I shoved them on my service porch underneath a bunch of toilet paper I bought from Costco. Those fuckers tried to play me! lol. I'm still salty but not as distraught as I was before. I had all kinds of outfits planned out in my head, lol. It hurt to be bamboozled, damn. Never again will I buy anything from an unknown website. Now Nordstrom I can trust so I ordered these last week:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3025987?Category=&Search=True&SearchType=keywordsearch&keyword=ugg+in+Women%27s+Shoes&origin=searchresults

They should be here tomorrow according to UPS tracking. Yes, they're pricey, I know. So I decided they'd be my early xmas/birthday present to myself :) JUSTIFIED! I really like how comfy they are and that they lace up in the back. Can't wait to wear 'em!

Feeling HOT HOT HOT!

Yesterday, on my way to my car to go home, one of my coworkers looked back at me on the way to his car and said "Hey Val. You look really hot today :)"
lol, heeeeeeeyy! All I had on were some black leggings, some lace up, black ankle boots, a plum colored satin button down shirt and a slouchy black belt, BUT I'LL TAKE IT! haha. Then, this morning Mr. Ed Choppers told me that the IT guy told her the same thing about me. I guess I still got it, yall! I'm hoping this mojo works some wammies this weekend when I go out for adult tricks and treats ;) We're talking about going down to San Diego for a big street party they give every year and staying over at a hotel until Sunday morning. I hope nobody flakes. This should be HUGE fun.

My chairs came in from Walmart the other day and although I said I didn't want to be bothered with my ex, he did promise me he'd put my chairs together for me when they arrived. It pains me to do this but I'm calling him for that favor.

the woman is the mule of the world (c) nanny

Actually, she said "So de white man throw down de load and tell de nigger man tuh pick it up. . . He hand it to his womenfolks. De n*gger woman is de mule uh de world so fur as Ah can see," to Janie, her granddaughter, in my favorite book "Their Eyes Were Watching God" by Zora Neale Hurston.
I feel like a mule right now too. My world is taunting me, my heart is singing the blues. Yesterday, during my lunch break, I got a call and was told that years of my hard work didn't pay off, and all my hope just went out the car window. I've invested so much and I'm so tired. Parenting is the toughest job in the world, I'm convinced.
So used to disappointment, I just need someone who truly understands but I don't know anyone who likely would. I'm getting better at coping.
I wish there was a way for me to skip to the back of the book and see how this story turns out.
Sorry this is so vague. I can't very well put all my business on the internet, you know.

My boy is going to homecoming...w/ a date!

Last night he came into the kitchen with me and I asked him if he wanted to go down to L.A. on Sunday (I'm going to meet my nephew's pregnant girlfriends' grandmother. Her only family since her mom passed when she was 11) and he said
"Okay... But Saturday me, Sam(antha), Anais, and Tyler need to go shopping at the mall. Can I have some money for homecoming clothes?"
I'm thinking he's asking for clams for clothes for the football game but DUH, he's asking for clothes for the dance!!! I asked him what he was thinking of wearing and if he had a date and he blushed. Guess who he's taking to the dance :) That's right, Mariiiiiiiiina. He finally showed me a picture of her on his cell phone and she's a cute girl. I don't remember her from 8th grade but apparently they've known each other since then. And she's digging my boy. She made him yet another threaded bracelet, lol. This one is a little fancier than the last one. So cute. I wont dare ask if she's his girlfriend though, because all he'll do is squeal and deny it and never tell me shit again, lol.
Anyhoo, we're both geeked but, of course, I have to hide my excitement so he won't crack and shut me out. I cannot WAIT for pictures! Oh boy!!

It's true; ignorance is bliss

I don’t want to know why a so-called friend said what he said and did what he did. I’m content with thinking he has issues and I shouldn’t take it personal at all. MOVING RIGHT ALONG. I don’t want to know what my ex is feeling because then I might care. I’d rather assume that his arms are folded and he’s in a huff because he is a girly, attitudinal retard and men are the new women :) I don’t really want to know if the guy I’m crushing on from afar is dating that girl in the Camry or not. Don’t bring me no bad news © the wiz. I’d rather remain comfortably unconscious, dreaming of me and him wrapped in each others arms, sharing bon bons on my couch. Actually, I need to remain detached right now because my nerves are doing HAND STANDS and everybody is trying to ride them. It’s not ideal. There’s too much stress floating in the air around me. Nothing but good news will be welcomed into my bosom starting right now. I just can’t take any negativity. I’m afraid I’ll absorb it and it’ll beat me © Ms Celie. I am currently winning in my oblivion, which is waaaay cool. My heart swelled when my friend Jenny sent me a link to a new Funny or Die clip that she directed. It had many funny moments and I was mighty damn proud of her. That’s my girl! And I needed that pick me up. Rock on, sister! Later on I’m going to continue the party with Nacho Libre, a new hair ‘do, lasagna from Maria’s (YUM!), no responsibilities, and NOT ONE DAMN CLUE.

Real Sushi

Last Friday my ex called my house sounding like a happy little chipmunk. We exchanged pleasantries and he asked if our son was home. I told him, no, that he was hanging out at McDonald’s with his friends. Before I could bid him ado and get back to what I was doing, he quickly asked if he could stop by since he was in the neighborhood. I should have told him ‘no’ but I couldn’t think of a reason why that wouldn’t hurt his feelings, and I knew he’d ask. So I said “sure,” and hung up the phone miffed. He showed up, turned on my living room TV, grabbed some snacks and moved my big chair to the center of the floor. 0_0 He turned to football… 0_0 …and proceeded to get on my damn nerves. Hours went by, my son had come home, they exchanged words and my ex was still there. I started to get hungry and had no plans to cook. In fact, I had no plans to be kicked out of my living room, to watch football, or to feed an ogre but there I was doing all that shit. I asked him if he had any money to go in on some take out. “Nope,” he said, and continued to watch TV. “But you can go ahead and eat if you want to, Val.” Like I was really going to get my supreme grub on in front of him and not offer his big ass anything. Ugh! So I stewed, trying to figure out how I was going to escape this lousy predicament I’d gotten myself into. Now, I have absolutely no problem with feeding people on my dime. However, he is a moocher and I vowed a long time ago, with God as my witness, that he wouldn't get another free meal out of me until he changed his evil ways.
An hour went by. Then my son came out of his room to ask me if I’d take him to the mall to meet up with some friends for a movie. I asked the ex if he wanted to go for the ride, since the mall was down the street from his house HINT HINT (and I could drop him off) and maybe he could stop at the ATM and get some money. He said “nah,” he didn’t want to go for the ride 0_o That’s about when my eye started to twitch. I left, dropped my son off at the mall, and cursed all the way back home to my loafing guest, still HUNGRY as hell. That’s when the argument began. It turns out, he felt that since he’d bought me a FOUR DOLLAR (his emphasis, not mine) taco a couple of weeks ago when him and his brother went to Top’s and brought my son something back, that I shouldn’t have a problem with buying him some food. 0_0 After asking whether he was pulling my leg, we sat and tried to figure out what to eat. I was not in the mood to argue with him. I was hungry as hell.
He through out suggestion after suggestion, but mentioned the semi-expensive sushi spot twice, despite me having shot it down once before. “I don’t want to take you to the rack," he said. "You shouldn't go to Acapulco's because then you’ll have to leave a tip…blah blah blah.” Finally, feeling like EYE wanted some spicy tuna rolls, EYE decided to drive us to SanSai, the Japanese McDonald’s. On the way there he throw’s out one last ditch effort for the semi-expensive sushi spot, saying “you might as well go there, it’s right down the street.”
No, I said, this sushi will just fine. “But it’s not even REAL sushi,” he says. To which I reply
“WTH? You don’t even EAT real sushi! Crunch rolls and teriyaki chicken aint sashimi!”
“What?”
0_0
I pull up at SanSai and get out. He’s dragging his feet walking slowly behind me. I get in, smile and place my order, look around and he’s sitting in the back on a stool with his arms folded saying “go ahead,” he doesn’t want anything. Whatever. I get my food and proceed to dig in. He’s sitting across from me, stoic, watching baseball on the TV overhead, providing one word answers to my conversation. Suddenly, he’s not hungry and has lost all enthusiasm for a free meal.
Now, I’ve been down this road before with this dunce cap so I refuse to play into his tantrum. The way I see it, he’s upset because he figured that since he brought me a FOUR DOLLAR TACO without being asked a couple of weeks ago, that I should repay him with a nice “sushi” dinner with drinks and a tip, instead of the fast-food sushi that I had so graciously offered him. Get the entire fuck out of here, dude. Lol.
After my meal I promptly dropped him off at the curb in front of his apartment building and sped off. Toodle’oo, fool!!

Oh LAWD! I'mma be sick :(

If these Chinese people don't give me my money back...I'm going to cry :(
I can't take it. Paypal basically told me "tough shit" so I called Mastercard and they've opened an investigation. Dude knew automatically that the boots were knock offs. I didn't even have to tell him. They handle this type of stuff all the time. Now I must fight...and worry...and possibly cry...but I wont go down without a struggle. I've even emailed the Chinese asking to return these bootleg boots. Now I'm going to sit on pins and needles and wait :(
Lord, help me. I'm so sad.

Ugh

My day has gone from sugar to shit in less than an hour. If you've been reading you might recall that I was excited about buying a pair of leather Ugg boots online that I'd been searching high and low for ever since I saw them in Marshalls for $165. But I hesitated and they sold out.
I was super desperate. I looked and called everywhere but no dice except online, of course. But the online prices were double what I could pay. Then I stumbled on this cheapy looking website on Yahoo. It didn't look reputable at all and the only forms of payment they accepted were Visa or Paypal. And I was desperate. So I signed up for Paypal and ordered these too-good-to-be-true boots I just HAD to have. I emailed the vendor asking them when they'd ship them and they responded in some of the worst Chinese ebonics I've ever read. I was nervous but, nevertheless, I pulled the trigger, figuring Paypal had my back. And if not Paypal, I knew damn well Mastercard did. For a week now I've been sweating bullets, wondering if these Chinese folks had run off with my money. So, unable to take the suspense any longer, I filed a complaint with Paypal. The next day I received this email from the Chinese folks:

Dear Valerie,
We feel so sorry for the late reply. Also, we feel so sorry for the late shipping. We inform you before, the item sold out but get back already. We shipped you by express already. We expect you will receive within this week or coming monday.We are not using UPS. We use EMS express service. Would you mind cancel the claim action by paypal? We promise if you still haven't receive before deadline. We will refund full payment to you. Anyway, we agree the wait is too long. Sorry again. Thank you for your patience !

:( I got home today and saw that the mailman did attempt to deliver something from China so I rushed to the Post Office to pick up my package. Got the box home, cut it open and discovered that I got GOT. They are clearly Ugg knock offs and not very good knock offs at that. Super pleather and the zipper is on the wrong side. I am so so sad. They don't even fit! I called Paypal to file another complaint and tomorrow I'm calling my credit card company to dispute the charges. I suppose that's what I get for not listening to my gut. Please pray for me and my refund. I'mma be SICK if I don't get my money back. Thanks *sigh

I kinda bet the farm this weekend

I was supposed to not spend a penny, one red hot cent. That was my goal. But then I found those leather Ugg boots I'd been searching high and low for and they were on sale for 50% off ($160), so I bought em. Then I finally found some dining room chairs to replace these ugly old ones that I'm embarrassed to have, and they were on sale ($263 for four). So I bought them too. And then, while perusing the mall with my fam I discovered that Ann Taylor was having yet another sale - an additional 40% off sale prices this time. So I bought a dress and two boat neck tops from them. Then I went grocery shopping at Costco (I only go there when I want to stock up on stuff and don't want to have to go to the store for a LONG time, and since hibernating season is upon us, I went) and spent $200 some odd dollars. This was not what I had planned for my weekend. In fact, I wasn't even supposed to leave the house. But I had guests intrude upon me on both days and both sets wanted me to tag along with THEM on shopping excursions. None of them spent as much as me, the only one of us who was supposed to be on a retail diet. Therefore, I slightly suck. I say slightly because I did buy two things we needed - food and dining room chairs. I didn't, however, truly need those boots or the Ann Taylor stuff but they were STEALS, so I couldn't pass them up :( Hence me partially sucking. I can't wait to wear my boots though :)

I had one of the most bizarre dreams

Long story short, I crashed the third wedding of my ex's sister who doesn't like me, lol. I rolled up in there in jeans and a t-shirt, completely ON ONE, looking for her fourth brother (she only has 3 though) who owed me money. In my defense, I hadn't even realized it was a wedding at first. My mother and cousin were there for some reason, all dressed up, and my ex's mama was dressed to the nines except for her Strawberry Shortcake bra strap hanging out (that's how real the dream seemed, lol. She's tacky as hell). Initially, I had been calling everybody's cell phone all throughout the wedding looking for this fool who said he wasn't going to give me my money back. Oh, HELL NO. So since no one was paying me any mind by phone, I decided to roll up there and convince his mama to ride with me back to her house so that I could confiscate the $600 worth of Walmart stuff I'd let him buy so he could get a job. Bizarre as hell. I'd never loan anybody that much money for Walmart shit while awake, lol. Anyway, she was sipping a martini when I found her and smiling without making eye contact with me. And as I was running the plan down to her I thought "hmm, that's a nice ass dress Evelyn got on. How unusual." Then I saw some flower girls run by and my mama pulled me to the side by the bar and confirmed that I was crashing that woman's wedding to her 3rd husband. SIDENOTE: each and every one of those dresses in my dream were handmade and THE BOMB and I imagined them while asleep but can't think of anything like that to save my life while awake, lol. As soon as I woke up I felt like sketching them out before I forgot them but my phone rang and by the time I'd gotten done talking I'd forgotten them :(
Anyway, so his sister finally came out (and her dress was killer, too) and glared at me like "YOU LOUSY BITCH!" but she didn't say anything. I congratulated her on her wedding to the fat man and then hopped back in the car to go stake out her mama's house to wait on her brother (that doesn't exist) and his girlfriend to show up for a show down. I think this dream means that I'm worrying about losing track of my money, lol.

I've been snooping

As any good mother would. My son will be 15 this November. He checks himself out in the mirror often and is fixated with his newly formed muscles, body hair and bulkiness. He no longer has to be hunted down to take a shower and even wears cologne now. It has become clear to me that he is not doing all of these things that I've had to wrestle him down to do for years because he's suddenly wanting to look and smell nice. No, I can only assume that he's doing all of this for the benefit of others since his room remains a mess and he's only funky-fresh on the week days; weekends be damned. And since when has he cared that much about others? Who the hell is suddenly so special that he feels a bath is warranted? lol, mm hmm.
So last Friday he called me to pick him up from his schools football game. He sounded pretty happy so I assumed the team had won. Then, when I asked him where exactly on campus he was, he told me "I'm at the front gate... with Marina." Who the hell is Marina, I thought. I know 80% of his friends' names, male and female but I'd never heard of a Marina. Hm. I hopped in the car and called him to tell him to meet me in the parking lot instead, since the rest of the area was so crowded. After about 10 minutes, I saw him in my rearview mirror, walking to the car with the goofiest grin on his face. Almost immediately upon getting in his cell phone rang. It was Keelan.
My boy: Heyyyy Bro...Remember that thing I told you might happen, bro? Yeah... it almost happened, bro *grinning from ear to ear. The pitch of his voice went up on that last sentence.
That's when my antennae went up. I left the radio turned off and heard bits of their fragmented convo all the way home. He went into the house still talking to Keelan, and closed his bedroom door. But he wasn't whispering so I stood in the hall and listened. Because that's my job!
Turns out, this heffa Marina wanted to kiss my boy but he clammed up. She's a sophmore on the varsity cheerleading squad and can "make her body into a table!" *rolls eyes. Later that night, after I got distracted by my own phone and couldn't snoop any longer, he came into my bedroom to tell me how his night went. He was visibly still geeked, saying how he had everyone laughing hysterically at his jokes all night and how he was pretty much the man to be at that moment. Then I spotted a thin piece of thread around his wrist. "What's that?"
My boy: Oh, this? *lifting the bracelet with one finger, playing DUMB!
Me: Yes. What is that? *now noticing it was one of those braided thread bracelets girls make
My boy: Oh, Marina gave me this. *proceeds to change the subject.
As I listened to him go on and on about his fantastic night, Cathy Bates was inside my head yelling out "FOOOZball, is the debil! Little gaayles is the debil, Bobby!!"
Oh, dios mio.
THEN, yesterday I got an opportunity to check his text messages and I read a little bit about a rumor that Marina was mad at him for not kissing her (ol' fast ass! but it must be true because Samantha told him that) and Keelan telling him not to say anything but to just walk up to her the next time he sees her and "just KISS her, bro." This boy is trying to get my boy caught up in a harrassment case :( But what do I do? What do I say??? Thank goodness, my older nephew came over with my mom on Sunday and they stayed in the room chatting and playing video games. My mom said when she walked in there they yelled "GRANDMA! We're talking!! Don't turn that light on! Get out, grandma."
So now she's Watson to my Sherlock. We're on this gatdamn case! I'm waiting to find out if my nephew cracked and spilled the beans to my mama. Stay tuned.

I broke out the crockpot the other day

...tossed some garlic and onions on the bottom, a cup of baby carrots, a cup of apple cider vinegar, then topped it all off with 5 seasoned, olive oil-coated chicken breasts. Within 5 hours that chicken was falling off the bone and the house was smelling delicious. My son and my guests said they enjoyed it but I wasn't all that pleased. You see, even though I cooked it in a pot full of spices and the chickens own juice, it still tasted kind of dry to me. And that's probably because all the juice - natural and added - was still in the pot and not really in the chicken anymore. When I've steamed chicken it was juicy as hell, all that was lost was some unwanted fat. But steamed chicken doesn't retain very much seasoning so I guess I'll have to choose between the two - the seasoning or the juice :( Or maybe I can figure out a way to keep both. We'll see. I haven't put away my crock pot yet.
Yesterday, my fam stopped by and we did a bit of fall cleaning and decorating. The yard looks fantastic (not finished decorating yet, though) and so does the house. All the leaves got raked up by mumsie, the boys mowed the front and back lawns, and my step dad trimmed the trees and bushes. I put out four tombstones, an artificial light-up jack o-lanter, a "Witches Crossing" sign, and a couple of scarecrows. Tonight I'll swap out my porch light with a black bulb and sometime this week I'll go buy a few real, colorful pumpkins (white and orange). Decorating on the inside of the house will mostly just consist of a few branches, pine cones and candles, maybe some fall leaves in the living room window.
I've also finally decided what I want to be for Halloween: an Indian chick, complete w/ mocassins and a papoose on my back. We'll see if I'm able to find all the stuff to make this costume, though.

Fall weather is finally here!

And I feel my hibernation senses kicking into full gear. I woke up this morning and considered turning on the heat for a little while to knock the chill off, but I grabbed my pink fluffy robe instead after fighting off the comfy-cozies keeping me in bed. 8 days after the official start of the autumnal equinox and at last I can start digging out sweaters and throws and hot cocoa :) I can see myself now, squished up on my couch w/ a cup of warm cocoa topped with marshmallows, my favorite fleece throw, hair all be-damned, and whatever the Netflix Gods have bestowed upon me. That's pure joy! I still don't know what I'm going to dress up as for Halloween though and that's sort of worrying me because all the good stuff will be sold out soon. I've gotta act fast! In addition to Halloween plans we're also making plans for my moms birthday in Vegas again this November, my upcoming "hula trip," and New Years Eve somewhere. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'll end up trapped at home again this NYE due to funds and the wacky parade attendees camping out all over the city. But after the year end that I'm planning to have I don't think I'd mind all that much.