I feel so sad for my boy. Yesterday he came home looking like Eeyore. I asked him how his day went and he told me that he and Marina had broken up. Too many issues with her mom not knowing she had a boyfriend, her parents fighting for custody of her and her brother, her mother losing her job, she might be moving by the end of this semester to Texas if dad wins custody, and to top it all off she has developed some sort of lung illness :( He said the break up was amicable but she still cried and they hugged and kissed before he walked her out to the front of the school to wait for her step father to come and pick her up. I hate that my boy is so sad and there's nothing I can really do to cheer him up. And, of course, I tried. I bought him a big plate of chili cheese fries last night from Tops, hugged him a lot, cracked jokes and tried to get his mind off of things. I even promised to take him shopping, lol. None of it seemed to work all that well but he did seem appreciative that I tried. It's bumming me out to see him moping around but on the other hand I know it's good for him. He'll have plenty of girlfriends in his lifetime and while this one is tough it's only going to make him grow and mature. I had to remind him that he wasn't going to marry Marina, even though he claimed to love her. He also said that he'd wanted to date her for the entire 3 years that they've known each other and now it's over too soon, like it's the end of his dating life forever. He's 15 so this attitude is par for the course.
Only time will mend his teenage heart and today is the first day he'll have to begin to get used to the idea of not being Marina's boyfriend. Meanwhile, I'll have to try to figure out ways to cheer him up and help him stay focused on the rest of his life.

Gobble Gobble Day

The offspring and cousins

I'm not making cheesecake anymore for Thanksgiving

I make it every year and I don't know how I always forget (until I've already started making it) that it hogs up the oven for over two hours. I have a big pan full of peaches and dough ready to be turned into cobbler, just sitting on the counter restlessly. But the cheesecake has to cool in the oven before I can remove it and let it chill in the fridge for 3-4 hours. It's already been in the oven for an hour. I don't know why I do this to myself every year. But I'll tell you one thing, this is going to be one BANGING Thanksgiving! Our matriarch, my mama, is getting old so for the past 6 years or so we've been helping her prepare the feast. She continues to make the main dishes because we don't want to take that joy away from her, but we usually make the sides and desserts. Soooo, I'm making candied yams, potato salad, homemade rolls, a caramel apple cheesecake, a pound cake, and a big pan of peach cobbler. And do you know with all those sweets on the menu I forgot to buy a few more gallons of vanilla ice cream? :( I currently only have one so I'll be heading to the grocery store before I drive down to Mama Dukes tomorrow.
I've been putting on karaoke in my living room in between cooking:
Cause youre a sweeeet sexy thang!
and you make my whole heart sang!
and there's nothing in this world I wouldn't DOOOoo OooOoo!
I'm JUST A SUCKA FOR YOUR LOVE!! SUCKA FA LOoooVE!
doot doot dootoot toot!
lol
My brown t-shirt is covered in...food. Looking down I see cornstarch, flour, peach juice, and some sticky substance I can't quite place.
Happy Thanksgiving :)

Lakers vs. Bulls

My boy at the game (THANKS JENNY!) in one of the suites at the Staples Center. He got a haircut and stuff the next day, lol.

THIS JUST IN

My pal Jenny just gave me suite tickets to the Lakers vs. Bulls game tonight WITH free parking! Me and the boy will have his birthday dinner there tonight :D

15 Years Ago Today...

I was laid up in a hospital bed in Inglewood, California with about 10 blankets on me, cold and completely exhausted after spending a full day in labor, 6 hours of hard labor, and then, finally at 3:40am delivering a 6 pound, 14 ounce baby boy from my nether regions, lol. I can laugh today but I damn sure wasn't laughing then. I was too tired to even giggle. It wasn't as painful as everyone had souped it up to be but it was certainly harder than I could have ever imagined. After he was born, both of our body temperatures dropped tremendously because we had become accustomed to relying on the others' body heat to keep us warm. So there I lay with 10 blankets atop me while the other part of me was in a hot incubator down in the nursery trying to work up his own body temp.
Last night he was worried that no one but me would remember to wish him a happy birthday today (it's already starting. the woes many of us experience every year for some insane reason on our birthdays) but this morning at like 5am his paternal grandma in Florida called and woke me up :( I ignored the phone though and as soon as I'd gone back to dreamland (I was having a great dream about shopping in a thrift store) his aunt called but she went to voicemail and hung up before I could answer. So I gave up the fight to get more winks, got up and woke him up. He ended up getting 5 happy birthday wishes before he headed off to school, cologned down to the socks for an afternoon movie date with his girlfriend and two of their female friends. My baby's all growed up. Wow. It really takes getting used to and lately I've been imagining what it'll be like when he leaves the nest and I'm not so much a part of his life anymore. Or when he starts a family of his own! I really hope he chooses a great woman to be the mother of my grandchildren and ensures that I see them often. Yeah, my thoughts are spiraling out of control, lol. He's only 15 :)
Anyway, I have red velvet cupcakes and DJ Guitar Hero to pick up today because it's my Boobie's birthday. :D

This year, I'm stealing Christmas

I just realized that I'm going to Hawaii 5 days before Christmas in order to spite my family. Well, not entirely. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but going in December seems especially perfect because not only will I be avoiding all the summer vacationers, I'll also get to spend a selfish and intimate Christmas alone with my son and away from my mooching family who successful drain all of my Christmas joy year after year. Like a wild pack of Christmas vampires.
Because of them, every year I seem to end up getting the shaft and Christmas is a huge let down. Someone inevitably wants to borrow money from me so that they can pretend to be Santa Claus, and then pay me back in tiny chunks over the coming year. Fuck that. Then they all want to see what gifts I got them, thinking that I'm John D. Rockefeller. And then, when they don't open up a thousand dollar gift of gold, they turn their ungrateful noses up and I'm sitting there pissed and unappreciated. This year, however, they'll be lucky if they get a box of coal.
My cousin won't be able to get away with giving cigarette lighters as gifts, either (yes, she really got away with doing that one year because she's always crying broke and everyone has happily accepted that she's a selfish loser) because I always pull through and make up for it with my gifts, and I won't be here to witness whatever transpires as a result of her going it alone. Perhaps they'll eat her alive? :) Now that I'd hate to miss, lol. Okay, not really, but still.
But THIS year...THIS YEAR I'm pulling the biggest heist ever. Instead of JD Rockefeller call me MR Grinch. There will be no using or abusing or noses turned up at my gifts because I won't be here to use or abuse or give. In fact, my plan is to return home on Christmas Eve, open gifts quietly that evening with my son, and then spend Christmas day cheerfully unpacking, unwinding and sipping on something warm and sweet. If the family wants to stop by they are welcome to do so but they shouldn't expect anything beyond a trinket souvenir from my wonderful trip, since I was on holiday before the holiday and didn't have time to shop for their ungrateful asses. Muah-hahahaha-HA! Extremely evil of me? Perhaps. I no longer have my Christmas spirit because they shanked her a long time ago. I'm hoping to find new cheer in Hawaii :) Happy Festivus! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Merry New Year! Happy Kwanzaa! and all that jazz.

Baby It's You

Was a Burt Bacharch song originally sang by the Shirelle's in 1961. The Pasadena Playhouse recently put on a show by the same name about the woman who discovered them, housewife and mother, Florence Greenberg. Yours truly (along with my mom, aunt, and cousin) was in attendance this past Thursday and my amateur theater-buff grade for the show is: B+. I fell in love with Geno Henderson's performance as disc jockey "Jocko", who practically stole the show with the handful of scenes he was in as a co-star, singing and narrating some parts. This was my mothers era of music, stuff she sang and danced to and was inspired by as a teen so I never knew that the Shirelle's were essentially the first Supremes, the precursor to many popular girl groups to come. And I was especially surprised to learn that a white housewife, Florence Greenberg, with the help of African American producer/songwriter, Luther Dixon (who she had a LONG term affair with), was able to successfully take on the male-dominated music industry and bring us entertainers like...The Isley Brothers, Dionne Warwick, Flip Wilson, Wilson Pickett, and, of course, The Shirelles. I think the most popular song by the Shirelles actually turned out to be "I Met Him on a Sunday"...or maybe "Dedicated to the One I Love", or "Foolish Little Girl", or wait..."Tonight's the Night", I can't decide. Songs that were remade by others and topped the charts later on. The Supremes, Destiny's Child and every other girl group owe a debt of gratitude to Doris Coley, Beverley Lee, Shirley Owens, and Addie Harris - aka, The Shirelles.

Watching that play I imagined my parents singing on my grandparent's porch, my dad and uncles corner crooning, lol, and my mom, her friend Mary and her cousin Carolyn winning the Talent Show of '68 when they formed a girl group called the Bellettes . That's them below, right before they got the chance of a lifetime to sing with THE Smokey Robinson. My grandmother had a newspaper clipping with them and Smokey, which I think my aunt took when grandmae passed away. That's my mom on the right. Her cousin Bruce sewed all of their costumes, the black Versace, lol.
Anyway, I love theater and if the Playhouse doesn't get enough donations from patrons and sponsors their doors will close soon, which would be a travesty. They hire lots of black actors and actresses and tell stories (like the biography of Lena Horn that we went to see not too long ago) that you'd probably never know otherwise. I think when I return from Hawaii this December and my money gets back right, I'll buy a season pass and take my son to as many performances as possible.
And if you live in LA, please go check out "Baby It's You". You won't regret it.

Maybe a planet is in retrograde somewhere

because something aint right. Either I'm pms'ing or everyone who's crossed my path over the last two days has been a lunatic and I'm just now realizing it. Well, my step father has always been an idiot so when he was getting on my nerves on Tuesday it didn't occur to me that anything was off kilter. That's just the way he rolls. But then my mother worked the hell out of one of my nerves yesterday and now today my ex is rodeo riding another one. Perhaps it's hermit time for me. But I won't be able to retreat until possibly tomorrow sometime because I'm going to a play tonight. Damn.

Check me out

Just a handful of shots from my trip:
Ready for my close up.

Cheesing it up in EyeCandy, a club inside Mandalay Bay, about to hit the dancefloor.

My favorite pair of "destroyed" denim. Tre sex-ay! I love these flowers.

I found this dress at Nordstrom Rack for 1/2 price. It has a 'T' back made out of the same silky material as the skirt portion. LOVE IT! The red patent leather shoes and clutch came respectively from Macy's 2 Christmas's ago, and Ross one year ago. I think they worked perfectly with the dress

Sin City

I'm sitting here in my coat - because my robe is packed up in my suitcase - waiting to get picked up by my family for yet another trip to Las Vegas. I tried on three bikini's last night and the top half of me was hot :). The bottom half, not so much :(. Maybe I need to quit trying to lose weight because all my trying is resulting in me gaining. This won't do.

Yahoo weather predicts it to be in the mid 70s today and 75 tomorrow, which is good enough for me to head down to Mandalay Bay's "beach" for a dip. In my one-piece. Or maybe I'll brave the bikini since I doubt I'll ever see any of those people ever again. Who's paying attention to me, anyway? They're all either worried about their own fat, or content with it enough not to give a damn about mines. Right? Right.

Anyway, I'd better get ready to go. Hasta luego.

More when I return.

I want to be a jet setter when I grow up

Whenever someone starts talking about their travels – what they bought in Timbuktu, how it smells in India and Paris, sailing across the jungle sky in Costa Rica – I get jealous. Having never left the country, I have nothing to add to the conversation and that really sucks. But traveling is in my bones, I can feel it. In all my years I haven’t been able to do much more than local travel though (local being Las Vegas, driving across the country to St. Louis, a weekend in New York) because of my parental responsibilities and super (duper) weak bank account. But now that my son is growing out of the nest (3 more years and he’ll be a technical adult! Where did the time go!?) and my bank account is getting stronger, I’m planning and preparing to get my travel on. I want a passport, dammit! with lots and lots of stickers on it. I want to see Paris at night in the spring, ride a bike in Bali, learn to hula in Tahiti, see the castles in England, stargaze in Tunisia, Brazil, Greece, Tuscany... I want to furnish my house with stuff I picked up in far away places and learn bits and pieces of a language or 3. All I want to do in my 40s and 50s is travel and remodel my house. That would be so fucktastic. I already have plans in my head for my son’s room when he moves out, lol. French doors leading out onto the flagstone patio in the backyard will replace one of his window pairs. I’ll make his room my office/guest room with an insanely comfy sofa bed in there for daydreaming &/or sleep over’s. He doesn’t know this yet. It’ll be a surprise :) For me, it’ll be a dream. I've gotta start planning and saving!
I guess I'm thinking more about all of this now because he is growing up and my nest is going to be empty soon. I still can't believe it. My biggest role for the past 15 years was being his mother, so what will I do with myself once he no longer needs as much mothering? The plan is to to build, remodel, landscape, travel, and write. I'll start by taking classes at Home Depot in a few weeks. Then whatever upgrades I make I'll post pictures of.

Halloween pictures are up

See "fotos" to your right :)
I had a great time and glad I opted not to go to San Diego after all. I'm really not a party girl so walking around Hollywood, laughing at costumes and taking pictures was perfect for me. We saw plenty of sluts, and I mean SLUTS. Ass literally hanging out, women walking around in as little material as is legal...IN CALIFORNIA. haha. There were also a lot of creative and hilarious costumes, which to me is the essence of Halloween. Not slut fest. As you can see in the pics I was a Native American, sans slut appeal. I got a little lazy in the creating stages and just winged it, found an old belt in my closet, borrowed my moms necklace... Although I think I did a great job on my eye make up. Originally I was going to go as Peter Pans baby mama, Tiger Lilly complete with a baby in a papoose on my back but I decided what I had on was enough and I didn't want to have to explain the baby. Call me Sakajawea (sp?), Pocahontas, Tiger Lilly, or whatever, but you get the picture. After traipsing around Hollywood we went to IHOP for breakfast and then headed home around 1am. My son went to a haunted house with a few friends and then slept over his buddy's house and went to Hometown Buffet for breakfast this morning. He said his Halloween was awesome and that Marina called him and said that she took an extra bag with her trick or treating just for him. How sweet. She's bringing the bag full of candy to school with her on Monday. Oh, he finally confessed to me that she is, indeed, his girlfriend.
Mr. Ed Choppers is probably still in San Diego getting over a hangover. I hope she had a good time, though.

The Chinese folks emailed me back:

Dear Valerie,
Yes, we can refund full payment to you for any reason. Would you mind simply let us know the reason for return ? Also, did you return the boot to us already. We will refund full payment to you after we confirm everything. Don't worry, we will not keep your money if you really want refund.
Thank you for your patience !

Bastards. I emailed them over a week ago requesting a return. I bet they're finally responding because Mastercard roughed up Paypal and Paypal in turn roughed them up (the bootleggers) . I don't trust those janky motherfuckers but I'm damn sure going to ship those retarded looking boots back to them and have MC iron out getting me my money back in the meantime. I couldn't even stand to look at the box they came in so I shoved them on my service porch underneath a bunch of toilet paper I bought from Costco. Those fuckers tried to play me! lol. I'm still salty but not as distraught as I was before. I had all kinds of outfits planned out in my head, lol. It hurt to be bamboozled, damn. Never again will I buy anything from an unknown website. Now Nordstrom I can trust so I ordered these last week:

http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3025987?Category=&Search=True&SearchType=keywordsearch&keyword=ugg+in+Women%27s+Shoes&origin=searchresults

They should be here tomorrow according to UPS tracking. Yes, they're pricey, I know. So I decided they'd be my early xmas/birthday present to myself :) JUSTIFIED! I really like how comfy they are and that they lace up in the back. Can't wait to wear 'em!

Feeling HOT HOT HOT!

Yesterday, on my way to my car to go home, one of my coworkers looked back at me on the way to his car and said "Hey Val. You look really hot today :)"
lol, heeeeeeeyy! All I had on were some black leggings, some lace up, black ankle boots, a plum colored satin button down shirt and a slouchy black belt, BUT I'LL TAKE IT! haha. Then, this morning Mr. Ed Choppers told me that the IT guy told her the same thing about me. I guess I still got it, yall! I'm hoping this mojo works some wammies this weekend when I go out for adult tricks and treats ;) We're talking about going down to San Diego for a big street party they give every year and staying over at a hotel until Sunday morning. I hope nobody flakes. This should be HUGE fun.

My chairs came in from Walmart the other day and although I said I didn't want to be bothered with my ex, he did promise me he'd put my chairs together for me when they arrived. It pains me to do this but I'm calling him for that favor.

the woman is the mule of the world (c) nanny

Actually, she said "So de white man throw down de load and tell de nigger man tuh pick it up. . . He hand it to his womenfolks. De n*gger woman is de mule uh de world so fur as Ah can see," to Janie, her granddaughter, in my favorite book "Their Eyes Were Watching God" by Zora Neale Hurston.
I feel like a mule right now too. My world is taunting me, my heart is singing the blues. Yesterday, during my lunch break, I got a call and was told that years of my hard work didn't pay off, and all my hope just went out the car window. I've invested so much and I'm so tired. Parenting is the toughest job in the world, I'm convinced.
So used to disappointment, I just need someone who truly understands but I don't know anyone who likely would. I'm getting better at coping.
I wish there was a way for me to skip to the back of the book and see how this story turns out.
Sorry this is so vague. I can't very well put all my business on the internet, you know.

My boy is going to homecoming...w/ a date!

Last night he came into the kitchen with me and I asked him if he wanted to go down to L.A. on Sunday (I'm going to meet my nephew's pregnant girlfriends' grandmother. Her only family since her mom passed when she was 11) and he said
"Okay... But Saturday me, Sam(antha), Anais, and Tyler need to go shopping at the mall. Can I have some money for homecoming clothes?"
I'm thinking he's asking for clams for clothes for the football game but DUH, he's asking for clothes for the dance!!! I asked him what he was thinking of wearing and if he had a date and he blushed. Guess who he's taking to the dance :) That's right, Mariiiiiiiiina. He finally showed me a picture of her on his cell phone and she's a cute girl. I don't remember her from 8th grade but apparently they've known each other since then. And she's digging my boy. She made him yet another threaded bracelet, lol. This one is a little fancier than the last one. So cute. I wont dare ask if she's his girlfriend though, because all he'll do is squeal and deny it and never tell me shit again, lol.
Anyhoo, we're both geeked but, of course, I have to hide my excitement so he won't crack and shut me out. I cannot WAIT for pictures! Oh boy!!