It's complicated, part 2

I've never been more confused, lol. smh. Talk about a learning experience! This is unlike anything I could've ever imagined and it's taking more than a notion to wrap my head firmly around it. I've never been too keen on being out of control and that's pretty much what this feels like. There is no safe word. I don't know how to do this. So I think it would be best if I just dont do anything at all, lol. Just sit down, shut up and wait until I can trust myself not to make a fool of myself. But anyone who knows me knows good and well that there's no way I'm doing that, lol. I need a distraction, like... pronto! So Saturday I'm going to dinner with a friend and some other folks for her birthday and I'm a little apprehensive about it because I don't know these other folks and I don't want issues with the bill when it comes. Group dinners tend to suck that way. People forget how many margarita's they've slurped down, don't consider tax or tip, and someone is always short on the bill by more than a meal or two. And she just had to go and choose a relatively expensive restaurant, to boot. I went to this same place last year for my birthday and the cheapest meal was about $30. So yeah, I'm thinking of surveying the group real good and basing my decision to order food AND a drink, or food OR a drink, on how broke and trifling this group appears. If they look good and trifling I'm just ordering a cocktail, saying happy birthday and leaving early, before any bill with tax and tip is even up for discussion. I love my new job. I've never ever said that about any job I've been employed to do so this feels great. Hope it stays this way and that I don't jinx it. Things have been going so well that all day I thought it was Tuesday instead of Wednesday. The week just flew by me without me even noticing. Yet still...I need a distraction! like, last week!!!