I never did have my yard sale. I cleaned the house and amassed a bunch of things that I had fully intended to sell, stored everything neatly in a corner of my living room, and then found out that the city has preposterous rules for yard sales and threw my hands up. According to this dear old city of mine, you cannot have an actual yard sale. No, you cannot place stuff in your actual yard to be sold. It has to be placed either in the back of the house or in the garage. Well, my garage is out of the question, and who is going to stop to peruse my backyard? Most people do drive-by’s and, if they see something they like, they stop. I can’t imagine that many folks will be stopping to check out what’s in my backyard. Then, you have to pay $20 for a yard sale permit and you can only put up signs on your own private property. No billing. So I got discouraged, packed all of the stuff I had amassed into two tubs, and stored it. Ugh. I can’t bring myself to donate it just yet. I’m still slightly hopeful that I’ll be having a bonafide yard sale. And I should be able to without all of these silly rules and regulations. This sucks.

Okay, so in addition to introducing myself to the world and joys of yoga, I have decided to learn how to garden. In part because my bad cholesterol is astronomical for my age and my doctor says that I’ll either have to go on medication or drastically change my lifestyle, which may or may not lower it since it’s mostly due to heredity, and also because meat has been making me feel lousy lately. Every time I eat a piece of chicken that isn’t free-range, I get sick. And every time I eat any other type of meat (turkey, cow) it weighs on me and feels like it takes an eternity to digest. Oh, and then I’m reading about pink slime and ammonia in food and all manner of disgusting crap, and my grocer seems to want to feed me just any old thing. I bought shellfish from Ralphs a little while ago and it was rotten, reeking of ammonia. If I had eaten it I would have been violently ill. And I bought sour grapes from Ralphs just recently. I won’t even get into the horrors I’ve discovered while trying to eat boxed or canned food. So yes, I’m fed up and going to test out my green thumb to see if I can grow some of my own food. It just makes sense. Of course, I’m going to start small and learn as I go, and as my budget will allow me to. But in the long run I do believe that I will be saving lots of money and helping to feed not only myself but my friends and family too, for practically nothing. So far, the only investment I can see once I am up and running is the cost of watering and the time it takes to tend to my veggies and keep pests away. I’m a bit excited about it and hopeful that by this time next year I will be healthier, happier, and in better physical shape.

The Kundalini is in your pants

Last night was my first time trying yoga, Kundalini yoga, to be precise. I’d read somewhere that Kundalini is the type of yoga good for stress relief, relaxation, and meditation. All stuff that I sorely need, which is why I signed up for it. Then, last night, prior to the start of my class, I decided to researcg Kundalini yoga some more and, according to Wiki, it is a form of “libidinal” yoga :) Say what now? Yep, according to the diagram on the wiki page, the kundalini is literally the groin area, from the rectum to the navel, to be precise. I was further intrigued. I walked gleefully to class, smiling all the way, not just because it sounded like some freak-nasty, kama sutra stuff, but because "HOORAY!" I was finally going to try yoga, something I’ve always wanted to try. Plus, it’s two blocks away from my house and I bought six classes for a mere $75, in all. I made a friend in class, too. A nice Asian lady whose doctor scolded her for never working out, which is why she signed up. Then, our seik (? He wasn’t a guru, he said he was a seek, or however you spell it), he instructed us to do a move called the pelvic grind. Sounds pervy but I promise the only part of my body that found enjoyment from that move was my spine. My back was in Heaven throughout the entire class. I won’t lie though, when he announced that we’d be doing the pelvic grind my mind went directly into the gutter. All in all, I’d say it was a great first class. Therefore, I am returning every Wednesday for more. I paid good money for this stuff, I’d BETTER be there.