Real Sushi

Last Friday my ex called my house sounding like a happy little chipmunk. We exchanged pleasantries and he asked if our son was home. I told him, no, that he was hanging out at McDonald’s with his friends. Before I could bid him ado and get back to what I was doing, he quickly asked if he could stop by since he was in the neighborhood. I should have told him ‘no’ but I couldn’t think of a reason why that wouldn’t hurt his feelings, and I knew he’d ask. So I said “sure,” and hung up the phone miffed. He showed up, turned on my living room TV, grabbed some snacks and moved my big chair to the center of the floor. 0_0 He turned to football… 0_0 …and proceeded to get on my damn nerves. Hours went by, my son had come home, they exchanged words and my ex was still there. I started to get hungry and had no plans to cook. In fact, I had no plans to be kicked out of my living room, to watch football, or to feed an ogre but there I was doing all that shit. I asked him if he had any money to go in on some take out. “Nope,” he said, and continued to watch TV. “But you can go ahead and eat if you want to, Val.” Like I was really going to get my supreme grub on in front of him and not offer his big ass anything. Ugh! So I stewed, trying to figure out how I was going to escape this lousy predicament I’d gotten myself into. Now, I have absolutely no problem with feeding people on my dime. However, he is a moocher and I vowed a long time ago, with God as my witness, that he wouldn't get another free meal out of me until he changed his evil ways.
An hour went by. Then my son came out of his room to ask me if I’d take him to the mall to meet up with some friends for a movie. I asked the ex if he wanted to go for the ride, since the mall was down the street from his house HINT HINT (and I could drop him off) and maybe he could stop at the ATM and get some money. He said “nah,” he didn’t want to go for the ride 0_o That’s about when my eye started to twitch. I left, dropped my son off at the mall, and cursed all the way back home to my loafing guest, still HUNGRY as hell. That’s when the argument began. It turns out, he felt that since he’d bought me a FOUR DOLLAR (his emphasis, not mine) taco a couple of weeks ago when him and his brother went to Top’s and brought my son something back, that I shouldn’t have a problem with buying him some food. 0_0 After asking whether he was pulling my leg, we sat and tried to figure out what to eat. I was not in the mood to argue with him. I was hungry as hell.
He through out suggestion after suggestion, but mentioned the semi-expensive sushi spot twice, despite me having shot it down once before. “I don’t want to take you to the rack," he said. "You shouldn't go to Acapulco's because then you’ll have to leave a tip…blah blah blah.” Finally, feeling like EYE wanted some spicy tuna rolls, EYE decided to drive us to SanSai, the Japanese McDonald’s. On the way there he throw’s out one last ditch effort for the semi-expensive sushi spot, saying “you might as well go there, it’s right down the street.”
No, I said, this sushi will just fine. “But it’s not even REAL sushi,” he says. To which I reply
“WTH? You don’t even EAT real sushi! Crunch rolls and teriyaki chicken aint sashimi!”
“What?”
0_0
I pull up at SanSai and get out. He’s dragging his feet walking slowly behind me. I get in, smile and place my order, look around and he’s sitting in the back on a stool with his arms folded saying “go ahead,” he doesn’t want anything. Whatever. I get my food and proceed to dig in. He’s sitting across from me, stoic, watching baseball on the TV overhead, providing one word answers to my conversation. Suddenly, he’s not hungry and has lost all enthusiasm for a free meal.
Now, I’ve been down this road before with this dunce cap so I refuse to play into his tantrum. The way I see it, he’s upset because he figured that since he brought me a FOUR DOLLAR TACO without being asked a couple of weeks ago, that I should repay him with a nice “sushi” dinner with drinks and a tip, instead of the fast-food sushi that I had so graciously offered him. Get the entire fuck out of here, dude. Lol.
After my meal I promptly dropped him off at the curb in front of his apartment building and sped off. Toodle’oo, fool!!