Am I coming or going? / Damn you, Big John!

My mind is a blur more often than not. I usually find myself running amok with a million thoughts popping into my head of things I must, I need, and I should do. Like Pop-Up video. It's not cool. My To-Do list is a mile long and on about 4-5 sheets of paper. In my purse, in my planner, on a few Post-It's...I've got to find a better way. See, the problem is that the weekend is too short and the week drains me, so I tend to try to cram everything into Saturday and Sunday. Well, this Saturday I woke up at around 6am and I just layed there with my eyes closed thinking of all the things I needed to do. A few weeks ago, a very good friend had invited me over to see her new house. I quickly jotted it down on the dry-erase calendar hanging on my kitchen wall so that I wouldn't forget... and wouldn't have to remember, lol. One less thing to hold in my already over crowded head. And I didn't forget! Hooray! However, I neglected to remind myself to bring something :( So I got up and mindlessly went on with my day, doing laundry, cleaning up, fussing at my son for one thing or another, running a few errands, making a couple of phone calls, just rushing about in order to make sure I showed up at her house on time (1pm). And I did! And the house was absolutely lovely! But then Patty showed up with a great big, gorgeous gift bag and my pride for having remembered to show up and on time went straight down into my gut and wound itself up and around my esophogus. I could've picked something up while I was out that morning but it totally didn't occur to me until then. I felt like shit. But I don't blame Pat at all. She's truly a thoughtful and wonderful friend, and that's partly why we all love her so much. So ever since yesterday all I've been thinking about is how to make up for my oversight but I kind of feel like it's too late and would be too cheesy and impersonal to just have something mailed. FOCK! I truly need a better system because I am not organized as well as I should be. I'm out of control. I need a personal assistant or something.

The other day at work after a very boring teleconference call that damn near drove me stir crazy, I went outside for a breather and decided to call up my mumsy to vent. So I'm standing out by the curb in the shade on my cell yip yapping to mom and feeling the crazy leaving my system with every rant and rave, when I spotted a little pick up truck across the street in the driveway of the convalescent home. Waste Management was written on the driver side door so I knew he was a city worker. He sat in the driveway much longer than necessary because I saw two opportunities for him to make a left or right turn out into the street, but he didn't. He watched me yap, instead. Suddenly, I became slightly self-conscious, wondering how I must look to this strange man and if he would come over to say anything at all. As quickly as I began to wonder I stopped, having lived out this scene many times before and it usually culminated in The Guy not saying anything. It wasn't worth the energy. So I pushed his presence out of my mind and went on with my convo, just about to go back upstairs to work, feeling much better, when he swooped out of the driveway and stopped at the curb right in front of me. He said hi and shoved a flyer in my direction. Told me his name was Big John and that he was giving a party he'd like me to come to. I felt a smile creep onto my face, shook his hand, and told him my name. Then, just like that, he was off. So I took a look at the flyer, scanned down to the bottom and saw this: "30 years and over, NO EXCEPTIONS" and my smile went like this --> :/
I must look my age now. ha! I mean, I get carded at the slots in Vegas, at the liquor store when buying booze for friends/parties, and more than a few kids at my sons school thought I was his sister. But not Big John. He obviously knew I was over 30. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I've always been proud of my age because of the wisdom I'd like to think I've acquired over the years. But I've never really, truly wanted to look it! lol. Not yet, at least. This was all too sudden. I think I needed the news broken to me slowly. haha.
Anyway, I pondered going to Big John's party but yesterday Mai told me that Pacoima, the city that it's taking place in, is full of gangs and ruffian's and not even she, thug lover mami #1, would hang out there. Besides, most 30 and over shindigs consist of a lot of older, pot bellied gentlemen that may have graduated high school around the same time as our parents and rarely ever are there guys right on the cusp and around our age. I'm not looking for an old pervert/sugar daddy who never got married, OR who is married but stepping out to go to Big John's party to see who he can get up on. So, while social, it does not sound like the kind of atmosphere I'd likely enjoy myself in. And I don't even know where Pacoima is.