Derby Day

I’m going to my first horse derby and I need an extravagant hat. We’re going to take a picnic with us and I am going to place a $5 bet on a horse with a cool name. $5 is my limit as I do not derive any joy from handing over money without the explicit understanding that I am to receive a reward in return. If I place my dollar into a vending machine and the Snickers bar does not descend, I will shake that machine until it does. And if getting tough with the machine still doesn’t present me with my candy bar, I’m dialing the number on the machine and requesting a refund immediately. I may even write a letter if I feel it’s necessary. And I am not above a vending machine boycott. I doubt this behavior would bode well at the horse races, so $5 is all they’ll be getting out of me. A friend of mines placed a $5 bet on a horse she thought was the prettiest, and she won $35. That’s well worth the risk of losing 5 of my hard earned bucks.

I’m excited about my day at the races and can’t wait to find a schnazzy new outfit to wear. But my main objective is the hat. Man, oh man! I am excited about this hat! I’m going to fashion the rest of my outfit (dress, shoes, and accessories) around the hat, which will be the main attraction, the piece de resistance! The bigger, the better since I won’t be wearing any sunscreen and it might be pretty warm out. And I don’t want to squint. I’m close to 40 and the soft skin around my eyes is already threatening to betray me. I can deal with the wayward gray hair here and there, but crow’s feet, bags and wrinkly eyes I cannot. (Lord, help me.)

I’m going to put on my best modern-day southern belle charm and make sure to sashay a little when I walk. This is what a child’s dress-up game feels like for adults. As a little girl, I spent countless hours in my mothers’ high heels, slathering on Cherry scented Chapstick until the red pigment transferred to my lips, pretending to be a sophisticated belle of an imaginary ball. This is my shot to make a long awaited dream come true and I don’t aim to muck it up.

Another perk about Derby Day is the park itself. Santa Anita Park is very well maintained and they’ve kept every bit of old nostalgia that they could. It’s where the film “Seabiscuit” was made and there’s even a Seabiscuit tram tour. I can already hear the thunder of a bunch of thoroughbred horses stampeding down the race track with the San Gabriel Mountains looming in the backdrop overlooking us all. So excited I could squeal!!

Anyway, I’ll be sure to snap lots of pictures and post some here, and I’ll definitely let you know if I win.