Monday, November 19, 2012
constantly grinding
I wonder what it will feel like when my big goals are finally accomplished. i'll probably just make new goals and grind some more. But the thought of resting is appealing. The thought of getting to where I'm trying to go and then soaking it all in is so sweet. I just hope that I can break this habit of always trying to make things better and just enjoy whats already good. Speaking of which, I may be staying home this Thanksgiving. I'm not sure if I'll regret going to my cousins house or not going to my cousins house. We have nowhere to put Axl, it's a long story but he's the reason we'll probably be staying home this year. My mom and step dad will likely come over for a bit, though, if we do stay, which is highly likely. And I'm making oyster dressing for the first time this year. I'm sure we'll play gin rummy or somethng. The simple things in life make me so happy these days. Decoratng my house for the holidays, cooking things like oyster dressing, being with family, HAVING LEFTOVERS...I'll just be happy when the day comes that I can host a double family gathering at my big ol' house. I am thankful for my bungalow, though. SOOO thankful. I love having a home of my own.
But what will my life consist of when I stop striving for more? Will I be a grandmother by then? Will I have met a life partner? Will I have traveled to my hearts content? Will I have a new list of goals to accomplish? I sort of feel like I'm missing something, though. Like maybe I'm doing it all wrong. I'm not 100% satisfied. That figures.
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2 comments:
My problem is I’m never satisfied. I wanted a BA then I got one and wanted a Masters… then I got one and wanted a good job…. then I got one and wanted a better job…. and then I got one and wanted a second masters ….then I got one and wanted a job that paid more…. Now I have one and want my license in SW to get an even better one.....long story short will I ever be satisfied...and should I ever be satisfied or should I always be striving for more???..
It's a contant balance of trying to make room for living and trying to make a better life. I don't want to miss my blessings because I'm trying to create them on my own, you know? I think we can continue to strive, Jai, but we can't allow the grind to keep us from actually enjoying the fruits of our labor :) Therefore, I am planning a trip somewhere nice real soon so I can get off of this hamster wheel, lol. I hope you're able to come up for air soon, too. ;)
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