Love; I miss it. I dream about it all the time, day and night. Last night I dreamt that the artist guy was dating a friend of mines. I really have to stay off Facebook before going to bed. In the dream, he was dating her but it wasn’t clear that he actually liked her. It seemed more like an arrangement of some sort and she paid for everything while he seemed indifferent about the whole affair. Towards the end of the dream I was racing to the salon for my hair appointment with the hope that me having a fancy new hairdo might get his attention and turn him back my way. As if he ever really was digging me in the first place. Dreams are so silly. Well, mine are at least. Anyway, I miss romance and intimacy and, honestly, I miss the idea of sex more than I do the actual act. Where sex is concerned, it’s been my experience that my fantasies are often much better than my realities. I’d say my sex life over the past 20 years has been 45% wow. But my fantasies? WOW! I have one hell of an imagination! It’s the intimacy of sex that makes it great, not so much the physical act, in my opinion.
So yeah, I'm missing love again. This poem by one of my favorite authors sums it up perfectly:
“Love entered in my heart one day
A sad, unwelcome guest.
But when it begged that it might stay
I let it stay and rest
It broke my nights with sorrowing
It filled my heart with fears
And, when my soul was prone to sing,
It filled my eyes with tears.
But...now that it has gone its way,
I miss the dear ole pain.
And, sometimes, in the night I pray
That Love might come again.”
― J. California Cooper
A sad, unwelcome guest.
But when it begged that it might stay
I let it stay and rest
It broke my nights with sorrowing
It filled my heart with fears
And, when my soul was prone to sing,
It filled my eyes with tears.
But...now that it has gone its way,
I miss the dear ole pain.
And, sometimes, in the night I pray
That Love might come again.”
― J. California Cooper
2 comments:
And, I think J's poem captures your feelings right now perfectly. I was once where you are with love. Now, I'm more in some form of an agreement with love. It's rather odd, I don't sob or moan or weep as I did about not being in love years earlier, now I reflect on the love I did have and simply pray that any new love that may come can top that. The idea of it is clearly a beautiful thing. Godspeed, lady.
I feel the exact same way. I've been reflecting on the love I had and wondering if that was as good as it gets :( I worry sometimes that there's nothing better out there. When I start to think back on the good times, I make posts like these, lol. I'm a romantic so I suspect I'll always feel this way.
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