Anxiety, I has it. There is absolutely too much going on this month and too much on my mind. I just realized that our Vegas trip coincides with my sons finals week :(. Now I'm hoping and praying that his teachers allow him to take them early (like tomorrow or Wednesday) so that I dont lose upwards of $500 on this trip. And vacation is supposed to be stree-LESS. Psht! It doesnt help that I'm pms'ing a teensy bit, either. I'm up at 5am on my off day writing in a blog, for crying out loud. And I've been up since 3am. It seems that I worry about everything these days and it sucks. Somehow there are fleas in my backyard multiplying as I type this and I've no idea how to get rid of them. Google has been worthless in this regard. Plus, I'm afraid to go back there and even attempt to get rid of them, lest I become a meal to a thousand tiny vampires. Every little brush against my skin has me freaking out. OCD brushing and scratching, it's sick. It's what has me up at this insane hour on my off day. I was even dreaming about fleas. My son is in there sound asleep, and he will be until I wake him up at 10am. I wish I could still sleep lkke that. Being an adult is overrated. Being a single adult with no real or perceived parachute/safety net to hog the covers in bed with is also overrated. I think I'm finally ready to commit again. The trouble is finding someone worth it. Too many frogs and not nearly enough prince's. I've editted my KAM (Kameelah Assed List of SO requirements) to include strength. Confidence was already on there but I've realized that strength is major for me. I cannot be mentally stronger than my mate. Physically, maybe, but mentally, HELL no. If he has thin skin and a defeatist mentality, I wont be happy with him. No one can trust a wimp when times get hard and I need to be able to trust him. Wimps bail out, they don't persevere, they cannot be relied on. I am not a wimp. So, "No wimps" has made the top of my list. I'm already a mother to my son, I do not desire to be a mother to my man. And that right there eliminates many from my dating pool. Now, to be clear, when I say no wmps allowed I do not mean that I like assholes instead. Quite the contrary, I loathe assholes. What I mean is that I prefer kind, confident, unconditional strength. Not cocky, brash, dumb muscle heads. But he can be weak with me, of course :) Show his vulnerability, his humaness with me. Yep, thats what I need. Thats whats at the top of my list. Not money or looks, but strength. Alright, the sun is coming up. I'm going to try to get some zzz's before it's too late. My phone will be ringing by 9am, I'm sure.