Sometimes I wish someone had neutered ME

The men in my life don't like that I had my 8 month old puppy neutered.  They think I should have had his ears cropped instead. The way I see it I rescued him from death at a shelter, so  his purpose in life is not to fight (ear cropping is common with fighting dogs) or procreate (contributing to more unwanted puppies being euthanized), it is to live peacefully and happily as my family dog, spoiled and well taken care of.  Thursday he was neutered and by Friday morning he was playing as though nothing at all had occurred.  We had to stop him from running and jumping and rough housing his toys so that he wouldn't reopen his incision.  The most anguish he had was over us leaving him with strangers in a cage.  He slept through the surgery and woke up with a cone attached to his collar.  Now, his raison de'tre is to play, eat, sleep, and be happy.  What could be better than that?  He won't have the sexual desires that frustrate other dogs and human, alike.  He won't risk life and limb getting to a dog in heat (95% of dogs hit by cars are un-neutered male dogs roaming around looking for sex).  He has no idea what a dog in heat is or what it's like to mate with one (he's a virgin) so he'll never miss sex.  At first, the men I know had me feeling sort of like a bad puppy parent.  But then I went to Google (and utilized rational thought) and I realized that Axl, my dog, is better off without his testes.  In fact, I sort of envy him. If someone had neutered me, I wouldn't have put up with all of my past lovers' bs, I wouldn't go through the same annoying motions over and over again with new lovers, and I wouldn't hope to find what doesn't exist.  Instead, I'd be so much more productive, I'd have no pms, and no fear of STD's or unwanted pregnancies. I'd be a perpetually happy, financially secure, and highly educated woman with no unnecessary distractions.
Lol, this is all tongue-in-cheek, of course.