Last Years Adventure to Walmart on Black Friday for a Hachi-Tachi-5000

(I wrote this last year and decided not to post it. My mood has changed so here it is)

I hate black Friday. To me, it's one huge rip off and scores of people fall for it each and every year. My mother fell victim this year and she and my step-pops camped out in front of Kmart after Thanksgiving dinner so that they could score a Hachi Tachi 5000, aka BIG ASS TV. She wanted the Sony 1080p Walmart was advertising but when they drove by Walmart after dinner "the line was wrapped around the store and down to King (Blvd)!" she told me.

A scuffle almost broke out in the line at Kmart twice. First, some lady bribed my step father, who was at the front of the line from 11pm until they opened at 6am, to save her a place in line in exchange for free breakfast when the store opened. My mama was mad as hell at him for agreeing to that after they'd slept in shifts and skipped a few nature breaks in order to maintain their position in line. Meanwhile, this woman was at home sleeping comfortably in her own bed with her place secured at the front of the line. 6am rolled around and the lady showed up as promised, all fresh and rested with two McDonald's breakfast platters for my Step-pops and the man behind him. Step-pops got thoroughly cussed out by my mom as a result.

Then, some other woman decides that she's not going to stand in line at all. She goes to the very front of the line and just stands there waiting for the doors to open, proclaiming that she "just wants to get in" and "has stuff to get" No shit, bitch! someone in the back yelled out. "We all 'just want to get in and got stuff to get!" She, too, got cussed out and almost beat up. My mama was riding hard on her, saying stuff like "What, you think we all just stood out here all night for fun?! blahblahbitchblah!" Eventually, the woman couldn't take the heat and went to the back of the line. Thank goodness because from the sounds of it, things might've gotten out of hand and it could have been a repeat of Walmart 2008 ending with somebody seriously wounded at the hands of an angry mob. The lengths Americans will go to for a sale, smh.

So moms and Step-pops were the first ones to make it into the store and only spent 100 dollars more than they'd wanted to spend. But they got their BIG ASS TV, the intended prize in all of this. Black Friday is like a sport, and I think the thrill is more in who can last the longest outside in the muck and end up saving the most. I stayed out of the streets until 6pm that evening, when I was sure most of the die hards were fast asleep at home, and I still won when I walked into Ann Taylor and found the blue dress that I had been drooling over for months on sale for $30, down from $120 :)

(I may do that again this year, actually)