I’m finally embarrassed by my phone. It’s nothing fancy-schmancy, just a Samsung “something-or-other” that isn’t “smart” and has a full keyboard for typing out text messages. Maybe it even has a 1 mega pixel camera that I never use. But all I’ve ever needed it to do was ring, make calls, and send and receive text messages here and there. I never needed a bell or a whistle, so I thought I’d keep it until it wouldn’t work any longer. It was fully serving its purpose. But now that everyone and their grandmama’s are yapping on, posting pictures from, and raving about their “smart” phones, I feel a little self-conscious whenever I whip out my Samsung. Ugh. The pressure to conform sucks swampy duck balls. It’s like driving a Ford Pinto to the prom when everyone else rolls up in a party bus limo, complete with a shiny stripper pole, you know, in case someone gets the uncontrollable urge to strip. They’ll have that option. It’s like my old 4th generation ipod that was recently stolen out of my car. It had several bells and whistles yet all I did was play music on it. Who has time for all those doo-dads? It was a chore just to update my playlists. Aint nobody (with a job and a life) got time for that.
I hate this. With a new phone I may have to get a data plan, which means my $50 a month will rise somewhere around the vicinity of $90 a month. The fuck!?!? No. Fuck these people and their dumb ass, flashy, pointless phones. I will be whipping out my Pinto phone until the screen goes dead or I can no longer make a call on it.