UPDATE: I spoke to my mom this morning. Apparently, she's the one sitting on a hidden pile of money that she doesnt want my stepfather to know about. She apologized for last night and assured me that I'd not only get my money back with interest, but she's going to pay for my Beyonce tickets as a belated birthday gift because she wasnt satisfied with just buying me dinner this year. So all is well :) I'm still not the bank, though.
I'm up at 1:26 am on a Sunday watching Suzi Orman. She's a great reminder of what I'm doing and need to be doing with my money. Just 20 minutes ago, I came home from the ATM after loaning my parents $60, in addition to the $25 I'd given my mom this evening before they headed out to San Manuel Indian Bingo and Casino. They wanted to borrow an additional $100, which would've brought their total loan to $125, but I declined. Then they regale me with the sob stories of them barely having gas and groceries, yet knowing this they decided to go gamble. I am not the bank. The fact that they expect me to be their bank pisses me the fuck off. I don't care that you're good for it, and it doesn't matter that you'll pay me with interest, like you would a bank. But unlike the bank, our relationship is much too close to do business with one another. But mainly, I cannot manage my finances while keeping your frivolous lifestyle in mind. I cannot support your whimsy! Of course, they don't understand this. They always thnk I'm sitting on a pile of hidden money, simply because I have managed to support myself and my son and stay above water better than most people they know. But if I'm not careful, they will surely help me to drown. Now I'm watching the segment of Suze's show called "Can I Afford It?" and it's pretty sobering. I feel like my finances have spiraled out of control and have been heading downhill for a good 7 to 8 months now. I'm not completely off track, thankfully. But I'm not in the shape I'd hoped to be in by now. Too many moments of weakness - for myself and my family. So I've raised my investing contributions a little bit, just as a saftey net and to give me some semblance of responsibility. But it cant make up for the mistakes already made - the splurges and cave in's for my family. But tonight I am vowing to work harder at getting it together and steering this ship steady. I'm about to set a budget and write a list of things that can be cut back on or cut out altogether. I need a will, need to fully fund my roth IRA, and add more money to my 401k, need 1M term life insruance, and to stop being unwise with the help that I'm giving to my son and my mom. Having said this, I still have a trip to New Orleans pending, and a Vegas trip to see Beyonce in concert in June. I dont intend to stop living :) but I do intend to slow this party bus waaaay down.
I'm up at 1:26 am on a Sunday watching Suzi Orman. She's a great reminder of what I'm doing and need to be doing with my money. Just 20 minutes ago, I came home from the ATM after loaning my parents $60, in addition to the $25 I'd given my mom this evening before they headed out to San Manuel Indian Bingo and Casino. They wanted to borrow an additional $100, which would've brought their total loan to $125, but I declined. Then they regale me with the sob stories of them barely having gas and groceries, yet knowing this they decided to go gamble. I am not the bank. The fact that they expect me to be their bank pisses me the fuck off. I don't care that you're good for it, and it doesn't matter that you'll pay me with interest, like you would a bank. But unlike the bank, our relationship is much too close to do business with one another. But mainly, I cannot manage my finances while keeping your frivolous lifestyle in mind. I cannot support your whimsy! Of course, they don't understand this. They always thnk I'm sitting on a pile of hidden money, simply because I have managed to support myself and my son and stay above water better than most people they know. But if I'm not careful, they will surely help me to drown. Now I'm watching the segment of Suze's show called "Can I Afford It?" and it's pretty sobering. I feel like my finances have spiraled out of control and have been heading downhill for a good 7 to 8 months now. I'm not completely off track, thankfully. But I'm not in the shape I'd hoped to be in by now. Too many moments of weakness - for myself and my family. So I've raised my investing contributions a little bit, just as a saftey net and to give me some semblance of responsibility. But it cant make up for the mistakes already made - the splurges and cave in's for my family. But tonight I am vowing to work harder at getting it together and steering this ship steady. I'm about to set a budget and write a list of things that can be cut back on or cut out altogether. I need a will, need to fully fund my roth IRA, and add more money to my 401k, need 1M term life insruance, and to stop being unwise with the help that I'm giving to my son and my mom. Having said this, I still have a trip to New Orleans pending, and a Vegas trip to see Beyonce in concert in June. I dont intend to stop living :) but I do intend to slow this party bus waaaay down.
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