Death is busier than you may think

I went to visit two old friends today. One I grew up with but haven't seen in about 10 years, the other's son and my son went to preschool together and I hadn't seen her for about 7 years. Turns out, they've known each other almost as long as I've known them individually. It is truly a small world. We connected via good ol' Facebook and decided to get together and catch up over lunch today.

So we ask each other the typical stuff - how's your mom, kids, granny, dog, cat, etc.

And during our conversation at friend #1's house she mentions that her little cousin, we'll call her Keisha, had a baby by a guy I used to date. We'll call him Troy.

Of course, I'm shocked. I didn't even know Troy was still around. But them having a baby together wasn't nearly the most shocking part. Troy gave Keisha HIV...and their 6 year old son has it too.

My friend proceeded to divulge all the sordid details as she drove us to Red Robbin for lunch. Keisha has tried to commit suicide twice that they know of. The first time she sat in garbage before trying to hang herself, saying that she was nothing but trash and was going to die anyway. My friend was at the apartment that she shares with Troy, trying to talk her out of it. Meanwhile, he was ironing his clothes for a date. That time, Keisha only ended up with bruises around her neck from her makeshift noose. The 2nd time she almost succeeded by drinking a bunch of cough syrup and taking a bottle of sleeping pills. When they took her to the hospital they discovered that her rectum was ripped from having rough anal sex with him. She won't leave him because she doesn't think anyone else will want her. But he's out there actively dating!

Back when he tried to get with me I went on one date with him and knew immediately that I didn't want to continue seeing him. He's not an unattractive man but his ego is humongous and he's not that bright, among other things. He made it really easy for me to lose his number. Then, I remember running into him at a liquor store on Crenshaw and Florence with a couple of my then girlfriends, and one of them was swooning big time over him and his Acura Legend. She told me that I was a fool for not pursuing a relationship with him. smh

According to my girlfriend, he maintains a relationship with the mother of his two oldest kids who happens to be a prostitute, and that's where they think he may have contracted the disease.

After Keisha's second attempt at suicide they committed her to a mental institution for a spell but she's out now and back with him and her son. He recently beat her up because her cousin, my friends' brother, posted on his Facebook page that he had AIDS.

All of this fucked me up, naturally. I was damn near crying listening to her. It's just too surreal. At the same time it made me glad that I've been listening to my first mind all these years and not second-guessing myself or listening to others and settling for what they think is good enough. I feel so fortunate for my drama-free, slow-paced, single lifestyle.

After lunch I also learned that a very popular guy that we knew died in a motorcycle accident and another one has been crowned king of the strippers at a very popular strip club. This guy was like my little brother in high school and now he's a buffed up, gyrating stripper king. Amazing. Another friend of ours hired him to perform at a naughty girl novelty party that she's throwing this month. I wonder if he'll remember me. This should be funny.