My love letter

I remember saying to myself "I could love him." And I meant it, I was convinced of it. And I did, I loved you. I found myself out in the rain one day looking for something that I promised to give you, and it occurred to me then that I was out in the rain, going out of my way to fulfill a promise I had made to you. I don’t know many people I would’ve done the same for. And now that I think of it, I can recall at least 3 other times I found myself in the rain with you and for you. We kissed in the rain once and I didn’t care about getting wet or my hair frizzing up, lol. I ran in the misty rain once after hugging you goodbye and returning to my car. And I drove home in the rain from your house one night, sad, still loving you. I never told you that I loved you but I think you know I did.

You won me over with your persistence and insistence that you loved me and that you were, indeed, The One I had been looking for. For a time, you were. The beginning was great, everything I could’ve hoped for. Beginnings are usually damn good, aren’t they? It’s the beginning when we are most excited, nervous, and anxious, our happiest and our scariest. The middle is what counts, where our memories are built. And endings are usually sad. When we finally ended and I got the call that the keys to my new home were ready to be picked up, I cried hard. Instead of being happy and excited about my new beginning, I mourned the end of us while driving on the freeway towards home. I couldn’t find the hope in my new beginning. I was afraid. And I didn’t want to remember you this way but you gave me no choice. Even though I spent many years preparing myself for the moment when I would have the strength to leave, I still wasn’t prepared. It still took me another 2 years to fully get over the end of us.

From the moment you came into being, I loved you. Everything about you, the thought of you, the way you felt, and how much you reminded me of myself. I loved it all and I still do. You are my sunshine, my dearest comrade. You’ve made me stronger, wiser, and happier each day since we met, and I can’t imagine living life without you. No one can take your place in my heart. I pray that no matter who enters our lives, what we go through over the years, and how we much grow and change, that we remain as close as we are today, always.

No matter how much you prepare me, I would be lost without you. I love you more than words can say. You are my best friend, you know me better than anyone, and I trust you with my life. You made me who I am today and I will forever be grateful.

Love,
Sappy ol' me