My ex invited me to his family's holiday gathering

He did it via text message to our son last night. I haven't spoken to him since early November and when I did, it wasn't good. So I can only guess that his family is asking about me and they're the ones who really want to see me on Christmas day. I love his family, dearly. Especially his father, brothers, and his oldest and middle sisters. His nieces and nephews still call me "Aunt Val" and treat me as such. I was around them when they were all little elementary school kids and now they're grown, in college, with families of their own, etc.

Of course, my son wants me to go. After the Christmas Eve sleepover at my house with my family, I had planned to spend Christmas day relaxing alone at home eating gumbo and watching movies, maybe even starting my painting project in the kitchen. My mom invited me to go with her and my step father to the casino but I hardly want to spend Christmas in a casino surrounded by cigarette smoke and gambling. It's funny to me that my mother was raised in such a huge house with a large family (13 biological and 3 adopted kids, grandma and grandpa, and German Shepard named "Bullet") steeped in tradition and Catholic religion, living life straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting...and today she'd prefer to spend her Christmas driving around town playing Santa and ending up in a casino. Meanwhile, I wasn't raised that way at all and I crave it deeply. When I was a kid we kept to tradition, somewhat, but it was just me and my cousin, who my mom raised with me, so there wasn't as much excitement. And we didn't do all of the things that my grandparents did (caroling, cleaning the house from top to bottom making everything smell like cinnamon and vanilla, fixing big feasts for dinner, decorating the biggest tree they could find, etc.) But as I got older, less and less did she try to recreate the holidays of her past. Now she tells me that it's actually Thanksgiving that's designated for family time, not Christmas. Bah-humbug. It took some complaining on my part to get her to agree to meet me half way this year and that's how the Christmas Eve sleepover came about.

Anyway, my ex's family gets together every year at his middle sisters house - all 6 kids, both divorced and remarried parents, all 14 grandkids, and two great grandkids, with in-laws. When we were a couple I wasn't too keen on spending Christmas with them because I hated his sisters house back then (think Amityville except full of rodents :/) and I hated that no one wanted to be the first to go home so they stayed there until after 1 and 2am sometimes. Well, she and her husband have finally left the Amityville horror house and moved into a very nice home out in Fontana that isn't drafty, moldy, junky, or rodent infested. Last year I spent Christmas day with them after my son and I returned from Hawaii and it was surprisingly fantastic. I'd missed them so much and they all welcomed me back in as family, nevertheless. It was as if I'd never left. The food was phenomenal, as usual (omgawd! was it!) and the oldest and middle sisters and I did a whole lot of catching up and "girl talk," which was nice. Oh, and his father is the best :) He is so funny and country and full of enthusiasm. He calls me "Valley" instead of Valerie, lol. He was very happy to see me last year, too.

Anyway, I would love to join them but I'm hesitant to ride up there with my ex. He and I aren't on the best of terms right now so I'm not sure what to do. I know he won't act a fool in front of his family but the ride up and back might be a bit awkward. And LONG. I'm leaning towards going but we'll see how I feel on Christmas morning.