It’s extremely rare that I’m happy and delightful on a Monday, but yesterday I just so happened to be. At work I was highly productive, time flew by, and, despite being super tired from the holiday weekend, nobody was on my nerves. That is, until I got home. Now, when I reached my driveway I was still high stepping and smiling, still in “get’er done” mode. I started straightening up the place and making mental notes to do a slew of things I’d been putting off (watch that Netflix movie I’ve had for over a week, update the tunes on my ipod, paint my baseboards, paint my nails, relax, etc). But first I needed to get dinner started because I’m absolutely no good when I’m hungry and Cornish hens take a while to cook. So I washed and prepared two of those bad boys, seasoned them to perfection, peeled a fat sweet potato, cut it up and tossed it into a pot, cut up some cabbage and got it ready to cook, and then my house phone rang.
“Hello?” I said.
“Well! I see you have your own thang going on, huh?!”
It was “the guy who’s wooing me” claiming that he’d sent me three unanswered text messages and half-jokingly accusing me of purposely ignoring him.
“I find it hard to believe that you didn’t check your phone since 3 o’clock,” he said.
What.the.hell? At this point I’m quite perplexed, wondering why he felt I needed to lie to him. And I asked him just that. What happened to him wanting me to be happy? I could feel my happiness slipping away.
He said he wanted to come over and use the internet to take care of some business. Straight bullshit but I’m like “uh…whatever, okay.” So all my plans are put on pause. He comes in and camps out in my living room with his laptop and my TV on blast, effectively alienating me from my space. I mean, my house aint but so big, damn. At this point I’m so annoyed I could kick a newborn puppy in the knee caps.
My temperature is rising but I try to remain focused on my goals for that evening; I don’t want to be unhappy. So I retreat to my bedroom to read. I’m yearning for my space but I’m trying not to be mean because I don’t want to have to deal with hurt feelings. So I attempt to level with him and, in so many words, explain that he just can’t give me an hour’s notice that he wants to stop by and then expect me not to have anything to do.
I’m a planner. My work weeks are planned damn near down to the minute and one snafu in my schedule has the potential to derail my mood and get some folks placed on my shit list (I didn’t tell him that part). He gets quiet like a little kid who just got chastised and his feelings are obviously hurt. I’m getting one word, softly spoken answers to my conversation. He declines my Cornish hens, sweet potatoes and cabbage, saying that he’ll eat what he has at home. Later on he mentions that what I’d said was fucked up. Huh? How? Are you dumb or just plain stupid, Forrest? I don’t say any of this to him, though. Instead, I ask to talk to him about it so that I can try to make him see the dilemma he’s put me in. But he’s too busy on the internet doing “research” and says that he’ll talk to me before he leaves. That was at 7 o’clock. This lousy motherfucker didn’t leave until 10 o’clock and by then I just wanted him gone so I could go to bed. Fuck your feelings, get home safe, but don’t call me to let me know that you have because I’ll be asleep. I don’t want to see nor hear from him but if I do, he’s getting cussed (yes, cussed) out and hung up on. I have the feeling that he stayed over for so long just to spy on me and see if I got any phone calls or male company, which infuriates me even more. How DARE he try to cockblock!! He’s officially worn out his welcome.
On second thought, I think I'll get it over with and tell him by phone during my lunch break that we can't be cool like that anymore. This is totally my fault though. I shouldn't have ever believed that he only wanted me to be happy. How naive of me.
I swear, I don't think I could ever live with another man again. Not unless we live in a huge house with east and west wings.
2 comments:
If he just wanted you to be happy like he said he did before, this would have gone differently. He does need to go. But yeah you shouldn't have let him over during your "me" time.
I tried talking to him today and it didn't go well. He tried to "out talk" me, which in turn frustrated me and we ended up having a shouting match :( It's ridiculous, and it reminded me of why we broke up in the first place. We do not communicate well. 15 minutes into the "debate" (his version of events is vastly different than mines, of course) I gave up and wished him well, then I hung up the phone. I cannot do it.
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