I hate the term “cougar”

It’s far from a term of endearment, it's disrespectful and demeaning to women, and anyone who dares to even utter that term in my presence will, at the very least, get the look of death, if not a severe cussing out (yes, cussing). What’s the awful term for older men who hit on and date/marry younger women?? Can’t put your finger on it? That’s because there isn’t one!! And no, sugar daddy doesn’t count. It’s not nearly as used as cougar and there really isn’t a negative connotation to it. Shit, Hugh Hefner is a sugar daddy and he is widely admired. He lives in a house full of gorgeous, sexually liberated, young, white women and many men aspire to be him – rich and (presumably) oversexed by said white women. On the show Two and a Half Men, Charlie Harper is certainly a sugar daddy but he’s portrayed as living the good life on the beach in Malibu, unhindered by marriage, a happy bachelor with a matronly housekeeper and a job that allows him to make a lot of money loafing around at home (a jingle writer). The term cougar, on the other hand, conjures up an image of an old, wrinkly, horny, sagging, chain smoking, Magda trying to recapture her youth and independence by sleeping with younger men.

Oh, and it’s not just men wearing this term out, younger women perpetuate this lousy stereotype too. As if they won’t someday get older themselves. They’d better hope like hell that they look as good as Demi Moore, Halle Berry, Mariah Carey, Kerry Washington, Thandie Newton and other women over 25. Usually, the ones talking shit look 30 at 20 anyway, so I guess karma really is a good bitch. Keep drinking and smoking and partying it up, girls! :) Meanwhile, your lame boyfriends will continue to hit on me and my sistren. Ugh.

Anyway, this all came about because I just backed out of attending a friends’ 27th birthday bash after reading the reviews of the venue she's having it at on yelp. Every last one of them talked about the overabundance of “desperate” “loser” “divorcee” cougars who “failed” at life. So, considering that I’m over 30, and my friend and the majority of her friends aren’t, I decided to save myself from an unnecessarily miserable evening where I’ll undoubtedly want to fight every guy and goofy bitch in the joint who thinks the term "cougar" is cute...or worse, thinks I'm one :( . I’d be walking right into a makeshift set-up of Hell, no thank you. And now that I think of it, I had a similarly miserable time at her birthday party last year at the "oontz oontz" club where every chick wanted to be Kim Kardashian and every guy wanted *her to be. Not only did the music suck (they played "Push It" by Salt n' Peppa at least 4 times), but the whole scene was super pathetic - a rainbow of short spandex dresses and 20-40 year old men with beer guts and sports coats. She picks awful spots to hang out in. I do hope she has a happy birthday, though.This year it won’t be at my expense, fortunately. I'll make it up to her somehow.