Woo-sah

I'm annoyed as fuck right now. It could just be my hormones but I can't be certain. A childhood friend of mines is in jail. Apparently, he's been there for several years but we (me and my fam) just found out about a year ago. Long story short, Terrence used to live across the street from me and we met when I was 16. We were boyfriend and girlfriend for about a month before he realized that I was nowhere near ready for sex so he dumped me. Gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech and said he'd like it if we remained friends. I was crushed but moved on somehow and got another boyfriend who I subsequently lost my virginity to (and who also was 24 years old but lied about his age. I didn't find out until after the deed was done. But that's another story).
Anyway, so Terrence and I were friends and I'd quickly gotten over him. We went to the same high school and everyone there thought we were brother and sister. I'll never forget how he grabbed this one guy by the collar and dragged him all around the school looking for me just so he could apologize for calling me a bitch at PE. It was fantastic :) Then a few months later, Terrence's mom put him out and my mom told him that he could come and live with us. He really felt like a brother then and boy did he get on my NERVES. I'd put a soda or a slice of cheesecake in the fridge and he'd drink/eat it right from under me and then play dumb. He constantly flooded the bathroom and he broke my stereo. Suffice it to say, I have no romantic feelings for dude whatsoever. We grew up, met other folks, moved on, and then he suddenly disappeared. That is, until my idiotic, always-in-trouble cousin passed by him in jail while lining up for something or other that they make jailbirds line up for. He said they were so excited to see each other that they began jumping up and down and screaming in line like two gay lovers, lol. Fast forward about a year and there he remains.
About 8 months ago, this big old clunky heart of mines decided to write him a letter and that's what I've been doing ever since. Then I got the bright idea to offer him money. Fine, no biggie for me because I'm pretty generous. I wasn't planning to give him all that much anyway. But the caveat is that I can't just write a check and mail it off. No, according to jail house rules, I'd have to drive in traffic to the post office, which is super stressful, and wait in line to get a postal money order. Ugh. Lord knows I loathe traffic and large groups of people and the post office. So months have gone by and I keep either forgetting to pick it up, being too busy/lazy, or the stars just won't align for me so he's yet to see this money order. Now, rather than just writing me as usual and acting as though it's not a big deal (I mean, a motherfucker in jail should be happy with just receiving outside correspondence at all and not picky about what type of correspondence it is, nahmean?) because shit happens and he has no idea what's going on with me, whether I'm dead, ill, or alive...this asshole decides to write me a two paragraph letter, as opposed to his usual 2 PAGE letters, and makes snide remarks about me promising him money, of which I did no such thing. I don't promise anything I can't guarantee, lol. And I damn sure don't promise anybody money that I don't already owe them. It was more like "if I get some extra clams I'll send them your way." So now I'm annoyed like, get a load of this motherfucker? The nerve of him.
I went after work today and, just as expected, I ran into the worst traffic, the worst drivers, and a long line at the god awful post office where some old lady named Viola, wearing a page boy wig, gave me attitude. Tomorrow I will mail him this funky money order and then he won't be hearing from me for a good while. Or at least until this pms subsides.