Idle chit chat with Tasha

(Posted with permission) like that commercial says, when i grow up i wanna be an old woman :)

Scout: when i joke about being a golden girl, living in a house w/ my mama and some friends, I’m half serious
and i'm really starting to feel womanly these days
like, i got a silver strand in my bangs and my body is showing many "womanly" signs
it's kinda cool.
it's interesting too
T: Girl, apparently when EYE'm goin through somethin
my girls be goin through it, too
now you talkin this womanly thing and for some reason, i been feelin that, too
like, my skin is gettin prettier and my hair is doin its thing and I found threeee gray strands, lawd
Scout: at first i tripped over my gray
but then ***** called me storm trying to be funny
and would you know, my ass dug it. lol
T: See, you told me about yours, so somethin told me to look for mines---FOUND IT!
I woulda kicked that fool in his unfunny ass nuts, lol
I gotcho Storm
lol
Scout: naw, i smiled.
i think storm is hot
shit, i dressed as her for halloween
lol
T: dudes got jazzy mouths, though, lol That IS kinda sexy.. Where you get the wig from?
Scout: i'll be a sexy gray mama, alright
i bought it online. but it was wack compared to this long wig i saw at a wig shop but by the time i got around to buying it somebody had beat me to it
but i'mma find that wig again. the one i got is for dress up/costume so it's already shedding
T: ugh, i hate that
Scout: it's only meant for dress up so i'm not surprised
but the other one is a bonafide wig
i want that shit
i've seen some sexy gray haired ladies out there
i think it'd be cool to look like that
sophisticated and like you got some money in yo pocket book
AND the bank, lol
practical but like you’ve got all your ducks in a row
that's something to look forward to, i think
i don't envy the 20somethings
not at all
T: girl
like,
it would take a whole LOTTA money to get me to relive my 20s
matterfact, to do the stuff I WISH I had done then, I'd need more money, lol
but
It still wouldn't be enough for all the emotional shit--the growth
Scout: yeah, i aint trying to go back. i like where i am now and wouldn't trade my experiences for another go ‘round
i'm straight
i wanna do so much more living.
T: exactly
Scout: i wanna live in the new body that i've come to love, this one that i have now
i wanna travel and see the world and learn more things
now that i know what i know
about life and living
T: I think it'd be much more fun to see the world NOW, with everything that I am and everything that I know, vs. seeing it back then, when I was so young and green and unappreciative
T: stop sayin the same shit I'm sayin, please, damn
lol
Scout: that fucking energy is SKRONG! lol
Tasha: No doubt
Scout: and i feel strong
T: lol
Scout: not like i did back in my 20s
i was weak then
T: girl, I was so wobbly inside
Scout: i feel like i've finally gotten a grasp on life now
on who i am
T: Like, you know that hyperventilating you do when you’ve been weeping over something? That shaky on the inside feeling? That's how I describe my whole 20's. I'm still there some days. I’m not all the way there.
Scout: yeah, there are times when my anxiety levels are a notch up there
and it's not a good feeling
that worry and uncertainty
not being able to really let go and relax in the knowledge that EYE GOT THIS
and i got this now.
so there's no need to worry but sometimes my anxiety pops back up for old times sake, to say "hey bitch! I'm still here"
just so i won't forget how far i've come :)
i just gotta tell that asshole to settle down
i got this
T: girl, i told you that analogy of my father payin for those swimmin lessons for us at the Y in Seattle...and how i'd start out at one end of the pool and swim with the proper technique for as faaar as I could, then stand up and look back at the wall to see how far I'd come? Well, I do that in life.
I look back on situations and people and see how far I've come
Scout: you’ve got to.
you gotta reflect
you won't know where you're going if you don’t have a clue where you've been
we're making progress, mama
:)
i think i'mma be a happy golden girl
i sometimes pass these lil old ladies sitting out at the Corner Cafe in the morning
and i wonder if they're happy w/ how far they've come
i want to be content w/ myself and my life at their age
i wonder if those ladies are happy w/ the choices they made
T: I would hope they would be
Scout: and if they’ve got some good stories to tell
T: I hope I will be
hell, i got good stories NOW, so I KNOW I'll have some in 40 years
Scout: yup
lol
we just had a STELLA convo.
T: ha
Scout: i'm going to save and edit this for my blog.