But he's cooking, serving me meals in bed while I'm reading/watching TV, cleaning up, mowing my lawns (plural), edging them up, pulling up weeds, putting junk on the curb for me (I finally got rid of that washer, dryer and stove behind my garage), assembling my new country kitchen dinette set (Walmart! holla!), etc., etc., etc. And it's bordering on making me feel a little guilty because, even though he claims he's not expecting anything in return and is just being nice, I don't believe him. I think he wants more from me. Much more than I want to give. We've been down damn near every avenue together and ultimately could not make it work. History is long, but I don't see a future for us and I think he does. That's a problem I'm not sure how to handle. I'm afraid to level with him. I keep asking him why he's being so nice to me and he's pretending like it's nothing, not a big deal, but I know better. Some way, somehow I see this ending badly...because I just can't force my feelings.
I'm supposed to be enjoying this, head over heels, right? But I'm not. I'm grateful, but I'd rather pay him with money (not love) and be alone than go back into a relationship with him. And strangely, that worries me a little. I can't even explain it so I'll stop here.
5 comments:
If I were you, I'd cut your losses right now and say thanks but no thanks before things get (more) complicated. I hate when folks preface advice with "if I were you", but it fit so well in this instance (that's what she said).
But how can I discern a friendly favor from a favor w/ strings attached? :/ That's what's killing me because we ARE friends and he HAS always done things for me. Except back then we were romantic friends. ha. oh man. I don't even know how to cut my losses without coming off as mean. I just try to do nice things in return so that he doesn't feel totally slighted but I can't keep feeding this fool and letting him use my net/tv/passenger seat on trips to Target, lol. I can, but like you said, it's not a good idea. I know he wants more, I just don't know exactly how much more. Or maybe I'm fooling myself because I like the favors :( *sigh
You have to trust your gut I guess..I never let being mean get in the way of things I do, but that's a glaring flaw of mine, so perhaps I shouldn't be giving advice..but I am anyway
hahaha. You're right. I have to do something now because habits are being formed. For instance, he's been popping over almost every weekend lately. I think I'll sit him down the next time I see him or if he calls me, even better :P No more tippy toeing around. I do care about him and his feelings so I suppose it's only right that I squash them now rather than later :(
You are where I was with my used to be ex turned guy that I ran back to... I hurt him years ago b/c I could not muster up the same feelings for him that he had for me. Now that we're older, bolder, more wise, and still single; I realize that all I had to do was see past what I truly wanted (at the time, someone who had given up on me) and see him for who he is. I adore him and I think if anyone leaves this time around, it'll be him (but I hope that doesn't happen too soon though).
I know where you are and it ain't a fun place to be. Good luck, love.
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