Objects of My Affection

I'd rather be home cleaning my house

I wish we had snow days here. It'd be nice if they gave us the day off for rain and mudslides, but noooo. So I'm forced to work on mindless crap until the late afternoon today, when I could be home cleaning my house and regaining my peace of mind.

The frog contacted me last Thursday. I resuscitated him momentarily. He has some showing and proving to do and I aim to allow him to do it. Were it not for his sex appeal I'd have pissed on his grave and not skipped a beat. (what an awful image, lol)

Anyway, at least I'm no longer as smitten as I was. I think I have a better handle on the situation now. We'll see!

My house is a wreck. I need to clean it and meditate or something, regroup. Feng Shui the hell out of it.

Sobering Mood

Well, I kicked ass in volleyball Tuesday night. I was the tallest player in a gym full of Asians and one white girl. They were aggressive as hell, though but I still managed to do okay. Better than okay :) That was the bright spot in my week. Now about the bullshit...

Men *spits. I'm so tired of kissing frogs I could just croak! The last great relationship I had began with me not liking him. I treated him prettttty badly, yet he loved me. Loved my dirty drawls, even. Everyone was badgering me like "You're tripping. You should get with *****" and I was like "Right. Whatever. Uh-huh." But then I got to thinking, what if I gave him a try? So I did one day and he was Happppppy. Man, was he geeked. So I was geeked, and started to treat him like a human being for once, all nice and sweet and accommodating. Until one day he sat me down and told me he'd rather I go back to the way I was before (read: bitch). Puzzled, and a little bit miffed, I did as he requested...sort of. Anyway, fast forward to our break up years later and this fucker has the nerve to say to me "Man! I shouldn't have EVER told you to stop being nice to me. What was I thinking!?"

W.T.F? MEN! *hocks loogey.

So the latest frog has been M.I.A. for 3 days now. Just *POOF! I thought things were going great. Last correspondence was cutesy and flirty and sweet and all up in my business. Now? Nothing, nada, zip, zilch. I checked the morgue, checked the jails, checked the hospitals, checked Twitter...and voila, there he was, tweeting as if I never existed :( I have no idea what happened. I sent him a "hey, you still alive?" email and he has yet to confirm. And they say women are fickle. psht! I want to stab him in the hand w/ an unfolded paperclip but...this too shall pass.

If I don't hear a peep by Monday, he's dead to me.

UPDATE:

He's dead to me.

I don't know why i do this to myself/the baby

I get all excited, anticipating something from someone else, chucking all of my eggs into one big basket...and then they let me down. I hate relying on people. Hate, hate, hate it. And I always tell myself that I won't ever do it again, but then I start slipping because I'm not entirely jaded yet and then they disappoint me. So now I'm disappointed and my focus is all off track. This sucks.

Last night I had a dream that I performed oral sex on John Legend. At the Roots Grammy Jam he had on a pair of jeans that made him look stacked in the front and, well, since I was right at the front of the stage almost directly beneath him, that's what I had to look up at before moving on to his face. But I got quite the eyeful, which probably explains the dream, which was a great dream :)

I almost forgot to post pictures of the bambina. Her name is Rhyann and she looks just like both of her parents. I'm so afraid that I'll love her too much and get my heart trampled on. Blame my niece for that. Anyway, here she is.

I'm irritable/volleyball tonight

And I'm not entirely sure why. I want to blame it on pms but I'm not so sure and I hate the idea that I can't control my moods. However, there is no denying that much has bothered me today. It could also be that I just need to get filet'd ;) slap it up, flip it, rub it down! oh nooooo!

Yeah, I'm grouchy.

Tonight I will get my old ass out on the court to play volleyball with a bunch of short Asian girls, and I'm kind of scared, very nervous. It's been soooo long since I've set, served, hit, spiked a ball. I hope I don't embarrass myself :( Wish me luck.

Roots Pre-Grammy Jam last night

And I didn't get home until 4am. Performances and appearances by The Roots, Ledisi, Estelle, The Mighty Mos Def, Jay Electronica, Scott Storch, Phonte/Foreign Exchange, Bilal, Linkin Park, Slim Thug, John Legend, David Banner (was in the audience), Kwame (was in the audience with us), etc. etc.

I have never stood for so long in my LIFE! I wore comfortable, rubber soled, wedge boots and was still walking out of there half crippled after standing for so long, so I can only imagine how those dummies in high heels must've felt, smh. I mean, whenever they tell you it's standing room only you do NOT even consider wearing heels. Wtf is wrong with people? I was told one girl sat down on the floor and took off her stilettos and then had to be carried out.

Anyway, I've got a video snippet I'd like to share. It's a snippet because, as some of yall know, I like to dance at shows and will get you dizzy with my video footage, lol. So I spared yall this time and turned the camera off when I felt the rhythm creeping up my spine :) But here ya go!

Get, Get, Getitgirrrrrrl!

I stuck to my plan and went straight to the gym after work yesterday. I have a new "friend" ;) who's helping me get in shape *swoon (his body is SICK!), and telling me what to eat. So yesterday, at his behest, I ate a bunch of healthy and semi-healthy snacks to kick my metabolism into high gear. I was eating and munching ALL day, so when I got to the gym I went hard with the workout. Push ups, crunches on an incline, some thigh machine thing where you lie on your stomach and bend your legs at the knees to lift the weight, and then an hour on the stepper/cross ski thing. 45minutes into my step/ski routine and I was no longer the Energizer Bunny. I was the damn competitor bunny :(. The LCD screen on the machine said "pedal backwards" so, being the trooper that I am, I did and just about died. OMG, after going 45 minutes strong of pedaling forward my thighs and butt were already pretty fatigued, so to then pedal backwards ??? That was the kill move. My stride slowed down considerably and I was hanging on to the machine for dear life, trying to finish out the hour, not caring who saw me. I made it to the hour and skipped the 5 minute cool down, but when I got off the machine I was wobbly as hell, lol. The walk from the gym to my car was the cool down.

Today, I'm not sore, thankfully, because I've been pretty active for a while now. But I definitely feel reminders of yesterday's workout. My friend says I need to eat more, especially if I'm going to continue to work out this hard, but I don't know how I'm going to do it. I'm never really that hungry. This is why celebs are in better shape than us - they have trainers AND personal chef's so they don't have to do anything but follow directions and sit down and eat. I have to create my own meals and routine.

Anyway, so after I left the gym last night I ate an apple in the car on the way to the petstore to buy Seth (our gecko) some worms and crickets. Then when I got home I grilled some salmon and ate a cup of steamed carrots after my shower and shampoo. My eyes got heavy around 9pm lying on the couch, and by 10 I was sleeping like a rock. Of course, today I am taking it sort of easy. I have dinner plans with a good friend and after that I'm reading a book and calling it a night. Yay me! This'll be a habit soon...I hope.

I was supposed to go to the gym tonight

But since I'm not going I feel tremendously guilty. We've been in there strong, 3-4 days a week since January 1st. And today I just couldn't bring myself to get up and go and suddenly, I feel like a big fat failure. I'm afraid I'm going to fall off and all my efforts will have been for nothing. I'm going tomorrow, no matter what. I just have to get my mind right early in the day, I think.

This is what I forfeited cable TV for. I have to go.

I'm waiting on an email. I've been waiting since, oh, about 12pm today. It's not a good look, waiting on an email. It's all you can think about. Utterly distracting. So I close my laptop and walk away to do something else. But before long I'm wondering if the email has finally come so I check. And I check...and I check. Now the minute I finally give up on checking, the damn email is going to come. Watch. That's how these things always work. I hate this. I'm suspended in suspense.

Okay, I'm going to check one more time and then I'm shutting down the computer.

A few random thoughts before I leave for the day

Yesterday on my way home from work I saw a magnificent rainbow coming down out of a cloud and appearing to end in my backyard. I was on the freeway when I spotted it and the first thing that came to mind was "there must be a pot of gold in my backyard" lol. Yes, I'm silly, in case you haven't figured that out by now.

The baby finally came! This morning around 6am. And she looks just like her dad did when he was born: like a little bubble eyed lizard. She keeps sticking her tongue out just like he did, too.

I am becoming obsessed, and not in a good way, with Facebook :( It's affecting my mood. WTH?

It could rain for two more weeks straight and I wouldn't complain. I love this! And we damn sure needed it.

Now I shall begin my weekend. Enjoy yours, please!

A Very Zen Birthday

Last year on my birthday Barack Obama was being inaugurated. It was all over my TV and all that anyone could talk about, including my mother. She called me up bright and early that morning bursting with excitement about how history was being made, how great Michelle Obama looked in her dress, and just how wonderful the day was in general. I listened and waited...and then waited some more. No "Happy Birthday" from the woman that birthed me.

So I tried giving her a hint; I agreed with her that today was a great day and all that jazz but wondered aloud if there was anything else special about today, maybe something a little more personal. She couldn't think of anything. I dropped a slew of hints and continued to come up snake eyes with her. For 10 whole hours 34 years ago that day last year, she laid in labor giving birth to her one and only child and it did not occur to her that it was our anniversary. I was hurt. I felt unloved and insignificant. That whole birthday was downhill from there.

But this year, I removed my heart from my sleeve. My only expectations for today were to relax at home, watch movies in the rain, and basically just blow the day off doing little to nothing. And to my surprise the love poured in from every direction :) Calls all day long. I ended up being treated to lunch too, despite flash flood warnings on the news. I took off work, played on the internet, ate junk food, watched chick flicks, and didn't brush my teeth until 5 pm. It was fabulous! My gift to me this year was a choice between a pair of $180 jeans and a $15 kooky Zen comedy book. Denim or book. I decided on the book. Nobody's denim is worth damn near $200.

Today I am 35 years young and completely at peace :D

I've surrendered

and finally joined the masses of people on Facebook. I drank the Kool-Aid yesterday at about 5pm after having been badgered for more than a year by friends and family. Believe it or not, I'm private :P And Facebook seems like it demands just a little too much information. But I've decided not to give up TMI and just use it to view pics, keep up with my boo-boo's (nieces and neph's) and keep some folks in the loop with me without them reading this here bloggity-blog. The world is too small and I have talked a tad bit of shit on here that not everyone needs to read. If ya feel me ;)

Anyway, I'm already slightly annoyed with it, lol, because it IS tmi. My niece posted the other day "Ash has finally seen the light," which was followed by a series of questions by everyone else asking what the hell Ash had seen. It turns out, Ash is playing secret squirrel, too and doesn't want to say :/ Just know that she has been enlightened. That's my boo-boo :)

So, I am no longer the last person on Earth to join Facebook. I've lost the battle but not the war...as long as this blog is kept sacred.

(False Alarm) The baby's on her way! Yay!

The baby is not on her way as previously posted. Her mother is over anxious, it seems. Yesterday they sent her home, yet again and allegedly she's dilated only two centimeters and isn't budging. The bambino is snug as a bug in a rug and isn't trying to come out. So we wait. Hopefully, she'll hold out until my birthday next week.

Ay, dios mio

They're going to listen to me someday. I knew this would happen and I couldn't resist saying "I TOLD ya so." My nephew is an immature 18 year old. Duh, right? He turned 18 in October and he still crawls into my mothers bed and cuddles with her like he's still two years old. His main ambition up until 8 months ago was fun, sex, fun, sex and more fun and sex. I can't think of one person who didn't know this about him. Including his now "baby's mama" :(

It was clear from the very beginning that he was dating her because she drove him everywhere he wanted to be and paid his way. She's...very accommodating. A week before his prom he broke up with her and was taken to the prom by two other girls. He's always had other girls. The very next day Tiye, his soon-to-be-born daughter's mother, called him and told him she was pregnant and keeping the baby.

Only he and I were devastated over this news. Call me Ms. Cleo because now, 8 months and a couple weeks away from delivering, Tiye is using the baby as leverage against him and threatening to omit his last name on the birth certificate, and my nephew is a wreck.

I hate that he is serving as the very example that I told my son not to be - giving someone else authority to dictate your life. If you're going to have sex like a grown person, don't do it all willy nilly; wrap it up! This is your life that's on the line.

So we went to Tiye's baby shower on Saturday and she told us that she'd finally - after more than two point 5 years of nonsense! - had enough of my nephew's nonsense. Ya don't say? It took you this long, huh? Right before the baby is born, and now you want to get fed up. How convenient. I guess it's better to get some sense late than never.

They're going to learn to listen to me someday.

I miss my friend

I don't know what happened to us. We used to be so close we'd finish each others sentences. I wouldn't say we've grown apart; more like our lives have become uneven, if that makes sense. We don't have as much in common as we used to and, for some reason, she decided to disappear on her birthday this past June after briefly reappearing in my life. It sucks that as you get older your friends are nothing like they were when you were younger. That insane closeness, that initmacy is gone. I've shared some of my deepest feelings with her without fear. And maybe it was just me being young and romanticizing it as though we shared this Judy Blume-type friendship, because in hindsight she wasn't all that great of a friend, lol. But she listened...and she made me laugh and feel good about myself. And I knew that if no one in the world understood me, she did. Or she'd damn sure try, talking to me until she did. Somewhere along the way all that took a wrong turn and here we are today...estranged.

I found Famous Amos

He's in Honolulu. I forgot to post this but while perusing the outdoor mall in Honolulu we passed by a curiously familiar cookie shop called "Chip and Cookie" and when I looked in the window I saw a black man in shorts, a hat, and a Hawaiian shirt who looked extremely familiar. When he disappeared into the back of the cookie shop I saw this:

When I told my mother she said that he was originally from Oahu before he moved to LA in the 70s, started Famous Amos' cookie shop in Hollywood, got big, got ripped off, lost his name to the bigger cookie dealers, and then disappeared.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wally_Amos <----the Wally Amos story of fame, fortune, and a big ass loss

I hope he's doing well these days. Looked like he was.

My boy made the baseball team!

He's so excited. He sent me three text messages in one minute and had to sign off for practice. And yesterday when I came home from work he said "I've got good news but don't wig out, mom" So of course, I said "what?!"

"Guess who's back together?" he said, cheesing big time.

So even though Marina is moving to Oregon next month, she still wants to "be" with him, as he explained it. He's floating on cloud 9 right about now and I'm cheesing watching him. His happy is my joy joy :D

We joined the gym

And yesterday was our second day going. So far, I've walked/ran on a treadmill, rode a bike, and cross country...ski'd? I don't know what that machine is called but it was sort of like riding a bike without a seat and using your arms to ski. I'm too shy to go downstairs and use the weights because that's where all the guys hang out. My boy is gung-ho though. He's in there like a warrior and kind of over doing it. I had to tell him to relax on that cross country ski machine thingy before he lost control and bopped himself in the mouth. But were it not for him, I'd be working out in my living room to exercisetv.tv. I'm glad he's bugging me to get out of the house and workout though, because it really does something good for my mood. I've noticed that I haven't been feeling as antsy and stressed as I used to, and I've been getting better rest (Sunday - today). I hate to say this but a burglar could let himself in through a window and throw a party in my living room and I wouldn't know until I found the mess at sunrise. It's been me and my pillow against the world. No time to focus on minute details in the grand scheme of it all, and I like that a lot :) I'm making progress and ticking things off my to-do lists with fury. Y es, listS. I've become anal but the gym is going to solve all that.

Reflecting

Yesterday as I was driving my son's two friends home from the mall I realized just how charismatic and funny my boy is. He cracked great jokes and said all the right things. I didn't cringe once. It still baffles me sometimes that he's no longer a baby and almost all grown up. He's a good friend, funny, and wiser than I was at his age, and I'm beyond proud of him. At that moment I felt like I'd done a great job as a mom.
While we were in Hawaii I had a similar feeling. We drove out to the North shore and stumbled upon a two-way road that led us down to a semi-secluded beach framed by lush green mountains, sunshine, and fog. Of course, we got out of the rental car and started snapping pictures like crazy tourists, giggling at our great fortune like bandits, and marveling at this place that previously only existed for us on TV. It was like finding buried treasure, simply amazing. Waves rolling in, warm sunshine and sand between our toes, majestic green mountains behind us, and no place else to be :). We had "Christmas in Jamaica" by Toni Braxton on repeat in the car serving as our theme song. And on the way back down that road we sang along to "Snowflakes" (even though it was 80 degrees outside without a trace of snow in sight) and I was just overflowing with joy. That was definitely the bonding experience I had hoped for, and that moment, not so much the turtles or anything else we did, defined the trip for me. It was the sweet spot of that week and I'll never forget it. As I took in the sight, sound, and smell of it all, I thanked God repeatedly that I was able to share that with my son. I love him more than anything and want us to be as close as, if not closer than, I am with my mother. And me and her are like peas and carrots ;)

See these dance moves...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tQaYXaPliIs

this was me last night when this song came on. Except I had on a black sequin mini halter dress and some 5 inch stiletto's, nursing a cold with Sudafed. Specifically after the 2minute mark, though? That's ALL me. I was doing all those moves. But when I tried to drop down low and sweep the floor with it I almost didn't make it back up, lol. Boy did I have fun dancing to that song. And it wiped me out. I put all I had into that one jam, as though I were The Great Beyonce herself, and by 11pm I was out of commission and stretched out in the booth. Thank goodness I decided to pack a pair of non-skid socks in my clutch. Happy New Year :)
Guess what song is going on my ipod workout mix? Yep.

So About Hawaii...

I think I pretty much covered most of what we did in a previous post (snorkeled with humongous turtles and spinner dolphins, watched a baby gray whale learn to breathe underwater, drove to the North Shore and took in some killer (literally) waves, ate good food, hiked Diamond Head, drove slowly along the coast on a two-lane highway afraid for my life, etc.)

But what really stuck with me about my trip was the poverty, genocide, and destruction of a place that is often portrayed as paradise. Trying to find a Hawaiian was like trying to find a purple elephant. They've been wiped out, to put it bluntly. Polynesians are a mere 11% of Oahu's population. Who's representing the rest of Hawaii? Whites and Asians at 50 and 40%, give or take. It's truly sad. If you live on Oahu either you're super rich or you're super poor. There appears to be no in between. Dilapidated buildings and houses run all throughout the city until you pass Waikiki (which looks like Santa Monica, California, overrun with malls, super high-end stores, and restaurants) and head towards Diamond Head. There you will see nothing but Asians and whites. That's it. The homes in Diamond Head are magnificent. The homes in the rest of Oahu are dumps with laundry strung along the porch of 9 out of 10 houses.

It's taken me a while to get over the fact that Hawaii is not some unspoiled paradise. I don't know why I was so naive, nursing this fantasy of hula dancers and a land unaffected by the rest of the world, just rich in polynesian culture and pride. We found lots of pride (one guy had all Hawaiian islands tattooed on his lower back and there were many monster trucks w/ "Kamehaha" and "Respect the Culture!" stickers in the windows) but the culture was not at all what I expected.

On our second day in Oahu we went to the Bernice Bishop Museum. Bernice Bishop was the last legal heir of the Kamehameha Dynasty, which ruled the Kingdom of Hawaii between 1810 and 1872, before Liliuokalani (not a Kamehameha heir but she took the thrown after her brother died, and he took it when Bernice refused to. It's a long story. Google it if you're at all interested) was overthrown by Stanford Dole (yes, the pineapple tycoon) et al., and Hawaii became a part of the US. But that's another long story. Anyway, on Bernice's deathbed she asked her husband to devote a portion of her very wealthy estate to building a school and preserving Hawaiian culture. He did and thus we have the wonderful Bishop Museum. We spent roughly 3 hours perusing that place and learning about the history of Hawaii and its peeps. I took at least 3 dozen pictures in there.
On our fourth and final day in Oahu, we made our way over to the Aloha Flea Market and finally saw lots of "purple elephants" :) and not just a smattering like we saw before. They looked just like the ones here in Cali, lol. Nothing too special. But it was good to see them, nonetheless.

(museum, me at the museum, "purple elephants")

As our plane made its descent into California and we got a birds eye view of "home", I was overcome (as I often am whenever I fly and then return home) with how much I love this place and can't imagine making any other place my home. Spending so much time at my desk at work or holed up in my humble abode made me forget how much more I have to do and discover (and RE-discover) while I'm still on this earth. I get stuck in a pattern of "same place, same thing" ...and with New Years coming up too? I couldn't have picked a better time to travel, as this trip has surely lit a fire under my ass and caused me to anxiously want to "seize my DAYS" before my time is up, lol. I stayed out until 11pm last night and it was a Tuesday!! lol Carpe Diem! ;)
Now I can take "Visit Hawaii," "drink something out of a coconut," and "wear a red bikini in Hawaii" off my list of things to do before I die. And the red bikini was done totally unconciously! When I returned to my hotel room and realized that I'd chosen to wear the red one over the four others that I'd brought, I just laughed. It must've been meant to be.

*I am so mad that I wrote this entire post out and it was good n' thoughtful, in my opinion, and then when I clicked "publish" 95% of it had disappeared. So I had to rewrite it from memory :(

To join...or not to join?

My son wants to join the gym. It's a great idea and I'm sure he'd get my money's worth. However, he's under 18 which means he'll have to be accompanied by an adult (me) and I'd have to pay for two memberships: mine and his. Hmm. 24Hour is having a special right now - $29.99/month per person, initiation fee's waived. BUT, I don't trust their cancellation policy (gotta finish reading it. Something sounds fishy at the end of the 6 page document) and I don't trust myself to get my money's worth :( So I'm debating between working out in my living room to exercisetv.tv, or my backyard OR signing up to workout among strangers at a gym with pushy sales people, muscle heads, and all manner of personalities. I'm perfectly fine with exercisetv.tv. I can give up, quit the workout and head directly to my own personal shower any time I want without being noticed or judged. I like that feeling. However, I can't make friends, I can't be made to feel guilty about quitting my work out prematurely or not utilizing my membership, and my son won't learn beans about boxing, which is what he wants to take a class they're offering for. And he wont have access to a range of free weights and other equipment and rock climbing and classes and an olympic size pool and a bball court and other such stuff. And neither would I. But then I'd have to drive to the gym and my living room is right there, within walking distance of my bedroom and television. I could work out in my drawls if I felt like it. That's a plus, no? I could also watch whatever television program I want without having to share the tv with a gym full of personalities.
I don't know what to do. I think I'm going to call 24hour right now and ask more questions. Their special deal ends on the 31st. Also, how typical is it to sign up for a gym on NYE? Ugh. I just KNOW they're going to be bombarded with memberships from those resolving to end their slothiness. This sloth included. It's just so uncool to be a sheep.

UPDATE:
So I spoke to a co-worker instead and found out that Costco has a sweet deal on a prepaid membership, totalling $300/person for 2 years, which translates to $12.50/month. But it's prepaid...and there are two of us :( I don't know if I should just chuck 600 bones like that. There's no refund on that deal unless you move far, far away or...die. I don't plan to do either. Hmm, decisions, decisions...

As planned...

I bought no one anything for Christmas and surprisingly I didn't feel any guilt about this. This Christmas was actually pretty awesome, in fact. The preceding Hawaii trip and then coming home just in time to relax and focus on my goals for the coming year was just what I needed. And then yesterday, in a good mood, I decided to accept the invite to go to my ex's sisters house and it was a good day. I didn't even mind staying until 2am either. Everyone was hugging my neck, his dad was a riot the whole evening, love was just flowing, the grub was spectacular, and his sister that I usually don't care for was the picture of wonderful (this is the one who's wedding I dreamed about crashing, lol). Her new house is gorgeous, GORGEOUS. She has fantastic decorating taste and it inspired me to go shopping. She even told me that she had recently battled cancer and its now in remission. Did I say that the food was OFF THE CHAIN? OMG, was it. I had two plates piled high and every single item on it, except his mama's potato salad, was the BOMB. I still love his oldest sister though. Me and her were like peas and carrots back in the day and she even came to my housewarming last year all the way from Victorville. Anyway, everyone welcomed me back in as family, as though I'd never left. And it was better than my own famiy's shindigs. I saw my mom briefly the day before and yesterday she and my step dad drove to the casino to gamble for the holiday after making their rounds around town playing Santa and Mr. Claus. This morning she called and told me that my 14 year old niece and 18 year old nephew were asking about me, surely looking for gifts I bet. They are spoiled rotten and both think I'm John D. Rockefeller. Unfortunately for them that ship has sailed. In previous years I've bought them fantastic gifts - gold bangles that she lost, an American Girl doll that she cut bald...a $50 baseball cap that he sold! smh, expensive tennis shoes that he left over a friends house...etc. They're practically grown now and still ungrateful so I'm through without remorse. Their older sister is 20 something and despite me spoiling her rotten for years she forgets about me every Christmas and only buys her mom and my mom a gift every year. I don't even get a howdy-do. So this is liberating for me. Fuck em. Sorry.
Anyhoo, I was surprised that my ex's sister who I used to couldn't stand handed me a Christmas gift last night. A pretty silver monogrammed keychain and a make up bag from Sephora. Nothing too fancy but the thought was what warmed me. I have no desire whatsoever to restart a relationship with my ex but I damn sure am going to miss his family. Sucks for us that he sucks. Maybe they're trying to win me back for him, lol. Who knows, but they are the bees knees.

Mele Kalikimaka!/Merry Christmas!

I'm back! I decided that staying would not suit me just yet, lol. Actually, I did miss home and was tired of hotel living so I decided to stick to the plan and caught my flight home yesterday, like a good "honorary Hawaiian". Ula, my new corner basket weaving friend granted me honorary Hawaiian citizenship after a pleasant chat and my decision to buy the biggest little basket that could fit into my suitcase. He handmade it right there on the spot for me. It's made of Taro leaves and he promises that if I take care of it, it will last for years. I'll take a picture of it and post it soon. It's the best souvenir I bought and, despite the 80 degree humid weather, it was the warmest feeling I got during my stay.

Anyway, you KNOW I took a kajillion pictures (302 to be exact) so I won't be posting them all. Just a bunch of my favorites. We stayed from Sunday afternoon (3pm) until Wednesday afternoon (2pm) and did quite a bit of living in that time. A quick run-down of the places we visited (larger, more detailed blog entry to come):

Waikiki Beach

Dukes Restaurant and bar on the beach

Bernice Bishop Museum of Hawaii (FABULOUS! Rich with Hawaiian culture)

The town of Haleiwa on the North Shore

Halona Blow Hole

Hanauma Bay

Diamond Head (inactive volcano)

Turtle Cove (actually in the middle of the ocean! EEK! Our tour guide told us AFTER we got out of the water that tiger sharks sometimes eat our turtle friends :( And if they'd decided they wanted to eat us, it would have been lights out instantly. We wouldn't have even seen it coming since they like to ambush their prey and we swim like pansies. I have serious respect for ocean swimmers! Especially "T". I can't pronounce his name but boy was he HOT and could swim his Hawaiian ass off *swoon. After almost every sentence he said "eh". I was completely captivated but tried to keep my drooling under wraps. More about him and the turtles and our horny captain and the Italian girls later)

Pearl City/Pearl Harbor

The US Army Musuem (got a chance to teach my boy about black WWII hero Dorie Miller, Rosie the Riveter, and a bit about the Renaissance starting in Paris after WWII black soldiers decided not to return home, and black roles in the military at that time (mostly menial due to racists beliefs that we couldn't fight, etc. and despite all of our accomplishments it still took years for the military to be integrated. Albeit, the military was integrated before the south was).

Macky's and Giovanni's world famous shrimp trucks (YU UM!)

We didn't want to live like tourists but we sort of couldn't help it, in a way. This trip has inspired me to learn more about Hawaiian culture and history. In the beginning, I felt like I had landed in Japan, or took a roundtrip ticket back to Santa Monica, CA rather than to an island in the Pacific. Asian's and whites have truly taken over Hawaii, almost to the point where it's unrecognizable (from what they show on tv, that is). Waikiki Beach is NOT the place to go if you'd like to experience Hawaiian culture, in my opinion. Anyway, I said I'd make this entry short-ish so I'll stop here and just post some pictures. You came for the pictures anyway, I'm sure. WARNING: These photos DO NOT do this place justice at all. But enjoy! More to come!

The town of Hale'iwa, plate techtonics at work near Diamond Head, & our "front porch" in Waikiki

An old Hawaiian man chopped off the edge of this little coconut w/ a hatchet, dug a hole w/ the tip, stuck in a straw for me, and voila! coconut milk on the run :)

This is what I call a SUNDAY DRIVE! This was taken directly from our rental car windshield



This shrimp, sauteed in garlic and butter was simply magnificent. I'm going to try to make it at home as soon as I can.

These cute little darlings put on a performance of "Hawaiian Santa" for us. See the video below.

ALOHA!!

Just a quick aloha while I'm printing my boarding pass and checking bags. I'm SUPER tanned. Went out snorkeling among the turtles and spinner dolphins today, which was realllly cool. We also got to see a humpback whale and her newborn learning to breathe and tread water. So cute. Awww. lol. Anyway, we'll be home tomorrow night and just in time for Christmas. Soooo much to tell! It's going to be a LONG blog entry.

ALOHA for now!
Scout

I've a feeling

that I'm going to get to Hawaii and never want to return :)

ALOHA!! <----means hello/goodbye/love

Few Things

- I want a wedding like Essence Atkins. Simple and original and without too much fuss and beautiful. She didn't have a bridal party or a traditional cake. And she walked herself down the aisle. It was just about her and Jaime. Simply delightful :)

- My mother is trying to bully me into buying her a Christmas gift. I have told her more than once that I'm not buying anybody any gifts this year and I don't want anyone to buy me anything. But every day she's coming with the "I know what you can get me'"s
Ugh. How is she just going to ignore my stance!?

- I have been seriously neglecting myself. My health, my hair, my house, my social life, my bills...all in the name of one Prof. Jimenez y West, and I am resentful. I have so much to do that I stress every night before finally fallinng asleep and then the anxiety is so much that I end up waking up earlier than usual and fretting about things.

- In a mad dash to try to pay some bills I found some stamps on my desk, filled out the paper bills, wrote checks and then raced to the mailbox to drop them in. Then I learned that postage has gone up 3 cents since I bought those stamps. :( I haven't run errands since before Thanksgiving. I just bought groceries last Sunday. This sucks. I'm hoping the post office gives me a break and sends the bills through but I doubt it. I'm expecting to have them returned to me any day now. And then I'll have to pay late fees. :(

- It's frickin 6:28am. I've been on the computer trying to pay my remaining bills electronically since 5:30am. My credit union is retarded and has locked me out of my account because I was "too slow" in siging in. WTF? I didn't do anything with my hair last night so it's a hot ass mess, all over my head right now. I don't want to go to work because I'm pms'ing and yesterday everyone was getting on my nerves and everything was going awry and I was frustrated and embarrassed and unintentionally mean. Now I have to go back there and show my face again :(
I'd rather crawl under a rock, frankly. There have to be drugs for this sort of thing.

- *Sigh

- Hawaii in a few days. *exhale

I've waited many many years for Tiana

When I first heard about The Princess and the Frog, I was elated. Yes, a 34 year old woman and mother ecstatic about a Disney princess. Because I'd never really had a Disney princess. Not one that looked like me, at least. I had more white dolls than black dolls and that was mostly because there weren't many black dolls on the market. In fact, just a couple of years ago I got into a tiny spat with the manager of my local Target store because I had been literally all over town looking for a black doll, ANY black doll at that point, for my niece and not one of the stores I went to had one. It was Christmas time; how do you not have a steady supply of dolls? He told me there wasn't really a demand for black dolls so whenever they got some they sold out fast. 0_0 what kind of sense does that make? I asked him. If you consistently sell out wouldn't that make you think that there IS a demand for black dolls? What am I supposed to buy my niece for Christmas? A white doll, he told me. And that's about when my tantrum kicked in. She's not white! I yelled. And when she's old enough she won't be giving birth to white babies!! After I left the store I was a tad embarrassed but I got over it. He needed to hear that. I did it for the people, lol. Daisy ended up with a black McDonald's Barbie doll that I found buried, literally, at Walmart, and even buying that doll almost had me in a fight, lol. The check out girl at Walmart held the box that the doll was in up and smiled at her and then said to me "All she needs is some long fingernails and a bunch of gold jewelry and she'd look just like the girls who work in McDonald's over there. tee hee" I don't recall exactly what I said to that bitch but I do remember cussing her out and saying she'd look just like Petunia Pig if only she had a big bow on her head. Among other things. I stormed out of there and vowed to never return.

Anyway, so I'm walking around with black doll/black princess baggage, lol. Yes, I am. This may seem trivial to some but I'm not concerned about them. When Disney announced they were coming out with Princess Tiana, I felt like we'd finally overcome. haha. And even though I have a son, not a daughter, I made up my mind that both he and I would be in the theater watching that movie on opening weekend, on general principal. I had to support it, otherwise, would there ever be another Princess Tiana? Probably not. So the other day we went to see it and at first the theater only had a handful of people in it and I was a bit sad but not surprised. It was 10 minutes until showtime. But by the time the movie began the theater was full! Little Asian girls and boys, three or four little white girls, a bunch of adults, like mostly adults, and some teenagers. I was so pleased, I teared up. hahaha! And when the movie was over, the audience clapped! That right there let me know they were all thinking the same thing I was: that this little Princess is a huge celebration! :)
However, for this to be Disney's first black princess I think they fell short. Yes, yes, you knew there'd be complaints. I think that maybe they overthought it and didn't want to offend anyone so they played it safe. But they ended up playing it too safe! The message was to work hard for your dreams, stay focused and your dreams will come true. And she was working hard. Like Cinderella hard. But then she got saved by a rich prince who paid for her dreams to come true. So where's the message now? Or maybe I got it all wrong and the message was really that you need love and hard work to be happy? I wonder what the kids thought. And then! Then, she was only human for a small portion of the movie. She spent the bulk of the movie as a damn frog. How does that even count as a movie about a black princess? I don't know but I kind of felt cheated. Just a little bit, though. I'm thankful for what I could get and I did enjoy Oprah as her mother, I loved Anika Noni Rose as Tiana, and the lightening bugs and Mama Dodie (I think that was her name) brought a bunch of smiles to my face. Oh, and the witch doctor was pretty good, too. The mardi gras theme at the end was also a nice touch. The music sucked though, lol. They picked the Toy Story guy to do the music. His niche was Toy Story and he should have hung up his hat after that. Nevertheless, I finally got my princess!! FINALLY.
So I got my princess and while I'm not elated with her, she'll do. I just hope she gets the love she deserves from real little girls - like Jasmine, Belle, Cinderella, Ariel, and Snow White get. I want Tiana to be appreciated because I waited long and hard for her.

I should really be doing something else

but I'm sitting here listening to crappy music on Myfm trying to win tickets to the John Mayer concert this March. It's raining and I'm still in my pajamas. I have so much to do today but I'm sitting here being forced to endure bullshit tunes in the name of love. I really want to win these tickets. Maybe I should give up. They're making you text in rather than call in and I've lost twice. How the hell can one be the 150th texter? How do you finnagle that? Perhaps I'm wasting my precious time :( I'm trying to be optimistic though, so I can be like "OMG! I WON!" and then go see John and throw my bra on stage whilst screaming my head off like I'm 16 years old all over again. Not really but yeah.
I guess I should go brush my teeth. It's after 1 o'clock.

Toni has put me in a mood

I love Toni Braxton's Christmas cd but Lordy me, it has put me in a serious mood and with the events from this week, es no bueno.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eba8OOoILaA&feature=related

Of course I dug it out and started listening to it for the Christmas in Jamaica track with Shaggy, lol. Getting pumped for my trip. But damn...I completely forgot how sultry this holiday cd is. That's Toni for ya.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NtH6ruS-OaU&feature=related

My wall is an illusion

Some days I feel like the man behind the curtain in the wiz. Just a big fat phoney, afraid of being found out. I play tough girl well but, honestly, I'm such a cream puff. And I mean majorly. Now, I can spit venom with the best of them and define bitch for you if you push me far enough. But then I usually feel an overwhelming sense of regret. Like why'd you push me like that! I'm not inherently mean, some people make me mean though. It's self defense. Anyway, I'm beating around the bush because what's really on my mind is how easy it is for me to go soft serve. I'm currently having a moment, you see. The other day someone I hardly pay attention to and was sure never paid me any mind, flirted with me relentlously. Harmless flirting I guess, and to be honest I'm not interested in him, but that attention had me open for a spell. In fact, as you can tell from this post, I'm still slightly ajar. And it's turned me topsy turvy when previously I had been just fine, walking with purpose and tunnel vision. Now? I'm stumbling a bit, off center :( The hell? I put up this Great Wall and to most (I think) it appears impenetrable when really it's just a hologram. I'm jaded and unsure and just want to feel secure enough to let my guards down and be me. But I'm scared (c) cowardly lion

I want John Mayer for Christmas

My mother has been bugging me for over a week now to tell her what I want for Christmas. I usually buy myself whatever I want so I've been coming up blank which is frustrating her. Then the other day someone mentioned never hearing any of John's songs except Your Body Is a Wonderland, so I began to gather all of the songs that I have by John and the next thing I knew I was falling in love all over again. I went to his blog/tour site and found out that he'll be in LA in March and I want to go sooo bad. I don't care if no one goes with me, I'll go alone and scream my head off. But a semi-good seat runs about $90 :( I'd be willing to pay that for floor seats but bleachers? I'd feel robbed of the intimate experience you go to concerts for in the first place. Anyway, I told her that's what I want and, of course, she scoffed at the price initially. So I told her not to worry, it is too high and I'll come up with something else later. But I have a feeling she's going to try to get me a ticket. I wish she could get me front row tickets though.

Do you know where YOUR mother is?

I've been trying to find my mama all day, damn near panicking and ready to call the authorities. So I decided to call my step father's cell phone before alerting the po-po's and the media, and where are they? The damn casino. They drove ALL the way out to Morongo to gamble on a Thursday night. When he answered the phone he said "hey! hey, Val. Ya mama's not by me right now, she's on the slots...blahblahblah, yeahyeahyeah." And I'm figuring he left work today to take her gambling because a couple of days after Thanksgiving she sent him down to the garage to get her Christmas tree and ornaments and he neglected to kick and shake down the bags and containers and ended up bringing a mouse in the house. My mother is TERRIFIED of rodents. All kinds - mice, rats, squirrels, gerbils, hamsters, chinchilla's...she fears them all. So for about a week she's been trapped in bed, afraid to get up and move about the house unless someone is there with her. So, feeling guilty and likely tired of getting cussed out, he took her to play the slots. haha. Now I can go to bed without worrying. Good night.

What a difference a day makes

My boy is happy again :) He came home yesterday smiling and chipper, almost like the breakup the day before never happened to him. Thank goodness because I was running out of ideas on ways to cheer him up.

Countdown to the hula! I've rented the car, the room is paid for, the flights are paid for, reservations have been made, tickets to activities have been bought, a tour guide book was bought, and the itinerary is finally coming together. I can hardly wait! This getaway is going to be exactly what the doctor ordered - rest, relaxation, rejuvenation, and regroup-ation, lol.

I feel so sad for my boy. Yesterday he came home looking like Eeyore. I asked him how his day went and he told me that he and Marina had broken up. Too many issues with her mom not knowing she had a boyfriend, her parents fighting for custody of her and her brother, her mother losing her job, she might be moving by the end of this semester to Texas if dad wins custody, and to top it all off she has developed some sort of lung illness :( He said the break up was amicable but she still cried and they hugged and kissed before he walked her out to the front of the school to wait for her step father to come and pick her up. I hate that my boy is so sad and there's nothing I can really do to cheer him up. And, of course, I tried. I bought him a big plate of chili cheese fries last night from Tops, hugged him a lot, cracked jokes and tried to get his mind off of things. I even promised to take him shopping, lol. None of it seemed to work all that well but he did seem appreciative that I tried. It's bumming me out to see him moping around but on the other hand I know it's good for him. He'll have plenty of girlfriends in his lifetime and while this one is tough it's only going to make him grow and mature. I had to remind him that he wasn't going to marry Marina, even though he claimed to love her. He also said that he'd wanted to date her for the entire 3 years that they've known each other and now it's over too soon, like it's the end of his dating life forever. He's 15 so this attitude is par for the course.
Only time will mend his teenage heart and today is the first day he'll have to begin to get used to the idea of not being Marina's boyfriend. Meanwhile, I'll have to try to figure out ways to cheer him up and help him stay focused on the rest of his life.

Gobble Gobble Day

The offspring and cousins

I'm not making cheesecake anymore for Thanksgiving

I make it every year and I don't know how I always forget (until I've already started making it) that it hogs up the oven for over two hours. I have a big pan full of peaches and dough ready to be turned into cobbler, just sitting on the counter restlessly. But the cheesecake has to cool in the oven before I can remove it and let it chill in the fridge for 3-4 hours. It's already been in the oven for an hour. I don't know why I do this to myself every year. But I'll tell you one thing, this is going to be one BANGING Thanksgiving! Our matriarch, my mama, is getting old so for the past 6 years or so we've been helping her prepare the feast. She continues to make the main dishes because we don't want to take that joy away from her, but we usually make the sides and desserts. Soooo, I'm making candied yams, potato salad, homemade rolls, a caramel apple cheesecake, a pound cake, and a big pan of peach cobbler. And do you know with all those sweets on the menu I forgot to buy a few more gallons of vanilla ice cream? :( I currently only have one so I'll be heading to the grocery store before I drive down to Mama Dukes tomorrow.
I've been putting on karaoke in my living room in between cooking:
Cause youre a sweeeet sexy thang!
and you make my whole heart sang!
and there's nothing in this world I wouldn't DOOOoo OooOoo!
I'm JUST A SUCKA FOR YOUR LOVE!! SUCKA FA LOoooVE!
doot doot dootoot toot!
lol
My brown t-shirt is covered in...food. Looking down I see cornstarch, flour, peach juice, and some sticky substance I can't quite place.
Happy Thanksgiving :)

Lakers vs. Bulls

My boy at the game (THANKS JENNY!) in one of the suites at the Staples Center. He got a haircut and stuff the next day, lol.

THIS JUST IN

My pal Jenny just gave me suite tickets to the Lakers vs. Bulls game tonight WITH free parking! Me and the boy will have his birthday dinner there tonight :D

15 Years Ago Today...

I was laid up in a hospital bed in Inglewood, California with about 10 blankets on me, cold and completely exhausted after spending a full day in labor, 6 hours of hard labor, and then, finally at 3:40am delivering a 6 pound, 14 ounce baby boy from my nether regions, lol. I can laugh today but I damn sure wasn't laughing then. I was too tired to even giggle. It wasn't as painful as everyone had souped it up to be but it was certainly harder than I could have ever imagined. After he was born, both of our body temperatures dropped tremendously because we had become accustomed to relying on the others' body heat to keep us warm. So there I lay with 10 blankets atop me while the other part of me was in a hot incubator down in the nursery trying to work up his own body temp.
Last night he was worried that no one but me would remember to wish him a happy birthday today (it's already starting. the woes many of us experience every year for some insane reason on our birthdays) but this morning at like 5am his paternal grandma in Florida called and woke me up :( I ignored the phone though and as soon as I'd gone back to dreamland (I was having a great dream about shopping in a thrift store) his aunt called but she went to voicemail and hung up before I could answer. So I gave up the fight to get more winks, got up and woke him up. He ended up getting 5 happy birthday wishes before he headed off to school, cologned down to the socks for an afternoon movie date with his girlfriend and two of their female friends. My baby's all growed up. Wow. It really takes getting used to and lately I've been imagining what it'll be like when he leaves the nest and I'm not so much a part of his life anymore. Or when he starts a family of his own! I really hope he chooses a great woman to be the mother of my grandchildren and ensures that I see them often. Yeah, my thoughts are spiraling out of control, lol. He's only 15 :)
Anyway, I have red velvet cupcakes and DJ Guitar Hero to pick up today because it's my Boobie's birthday. :D

This year, I'm stealing Christmas

I just realized that I'm going to Hawaii 5 days before Christmas in order to spite my family. Well, not entirely. I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but going in December seems especially perfect because not only will I be avoiding all the summer vacationers, I'll also get to spend a selfish and intimate Christmas alone with my son and away from my mooching family who successful drain all of my Christmas joy year after year. Like a wild pack of Christmas vampires.
Because of them, every year I seem to end up getting the shaft and Christmas is a huge let down. Someone inevitably wants to borrow money from me so that they can pretend to be Santa Claus, and then pay me back in tiny chunks over the coming year. Fuck that. Then they all want to see what gifts I got them, thinking that I'm John D. Rockefeller. And then, when they don't open up a thousand dollar gift of gold, they turn their ungrateful noses up and I'm sitting there pissed and unappreciated. This year, however, they'll be lucky if they get a box of coal.
My cousin won't be able to get away with giving cigarette lighters as gifts, either (yes, she really got away with doing that one year because she's always crying broke and everyone has happily accepted that she's a selfish loser) because I always pull through and make up for it with my gifts, and I won't be here to witness whatever transpires as a result of her going it alone. Perhaps they'll eat her alive? :) Now that I'd hate to miss, lol. Okay, not really, but still.
But THIS year...THIS YEAR I'm pulling the biggest heist ever. Instead of JD Rockefeller call me MR Grinch. There will be no using or abusing or noses turned up at my gifts because I won't be here to use or abuse or give. In fact, my plan is to return home on Christmas Eve, open gifts quietly that evening with my son, and then spend Christmas day cheerfully unpacking, unwinding and sipping on something warm and sweet. If the family wants to stop by they are welcome to do so but they shouldn't expect anything beyond a trinket souvenir from my wonderful trip, since I was on holiday before the holiday and didn't have time to shop for their ungrateful asses. Muah-hahahaha-HA! Extremely evil of me? Perhaps. I no longer have my Christmas spirit because they shanked her a long time ago. I'm hoping to find new cheer in Hawaii :) Happy Festivus! Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Merry New Year! Happy Kwanzaa! and all that jazz.

Baby It's You

Was a Burt Bacharch song originally sang by the Shirelle's in 1961. The Pasadena Playhouse recently put on a show by the same name about the woman who discovered them, housewife and mother, Florence Greenberg. Yours truly (along with my mom, aunt, and cousin) was in attendance this past Thursday and my amateur theater-buff grade for the show is: B+. I fell in love with Geno Henderson's performance as disc jockey "Jocko", who practically stole the show with the handful of scenes he was in as a co-star, singing and narrating some parts. This was my mothers era of music, stuff she sang and danced to and was inspired by as a teen so I never knew that the Shirelle's were essentially the first Supremes, the precursor to many popular girl groups to come. And I was especially surprised to learn that a white housewife, Florence Greenberg, with the help of African American producer/songwriter, Luther Dixon (who she had a LONG term affair with), was able to successfully take on the male-dominated music industry and bring us entertainers like...The Isley Brothers, Dionne Warwick, Flip Wilson, Wilson Pickett, and, of course, The Shirelles. I think the most popular song by the Shirelles actually turned out to be "I Met Him on a Sunday"...or maybe "Dedicated to the One I Love", or "Foolish Little Girl", or wait..."Tonight's the Night", I can't decide. Songs that were remade by others and topped the charts later on. The Supremes, Destiny's Child and every other girl group owe a debt of gratitude to Doris Coley, Beverley Lee, Shirley Owens, and Addie Harris - aka, The Shirelles.

Watching that play I imagined my parents singing on my grandparent's porch, my dad and uncles corner crooning, lol, and my mom, her friend Mary and her cousin Carolyn winning the Talent Show of '68 when they formed a girl group called the Bellettes . That's them below, right before they got the chance of a lifetime to sing with THE Smokey Robinson. My grandmother had a newspaper clipping with them and Smokey, which I think my aunt took when grandmae passed away. That's my mom on the right. Her cousin Bruce sewed all of their costumes, the black Versace, lol.
Anyway, I love theater and if the Playhouse doesn't get enough donations from patrons and sponsors their doors will close soon, which would be a travesty. They hire lots of black actors and actresses and tell stories (like the biography of Lena Horn that we went to see not too long ago) that you'd probably never know otherwise. I think when I return from Hawaii this December and my money gets back right, I'll buy a season pass and take my son to as many performances as possible.
And if you live in LA, please go check out "Baby It's You". You won't regret it.

Maybe a planet is in retrograde somewhere

because something aint right. Either I'm pms'ing or everyone who's crossed my path over the last two days has been a lunatic and I'm just now realizing it. Well, my step father has always been an idiot so when he was getting on my nerves on Tuesday it didn't occur to me that anything was off kilter. That's just the way he rolls. But then my mother worked the hell out of one of my nerves yesterday and now today my ex is rodeo riding another one. Perhaps it's hermit time for me. But I won't be able to retreat until possibly tomorrow sometime because I'm going to a play tonight. Damn.

Check me out

Just a handful of shots from my trip:
Ready for my close up.

Cheesing it up in EyeCandy, a club inside Mandalay Bay, about to hit the dancefloor.

My favorite pair of "destroyed" denim. Tre sex-ay! I love these flowers.

I found this dress at Nordstrom Rack for 1/2 price. It has a 'T' back made out of the same silky material as the skirt portion. LOVE IT! The red patent leather shoes and clutch came respectively from Macy's 2 Christmas's ago, and Ross one year ago. I think they worked perfectly with the dress

Sin City

I'm sitting here in my coat - because my robe is packed up in my suitcase - waiting to get picked up by my family for yet another trip to Las Vegas. I tried on three bikini's last night and the top half of me was hot :). The bottom half, not so much :(. Maybe I need to quit trying to lose weight because all my trying is resulting in me gaining. This won't do.

Yahoo weather predicts it to be in the mid 70s today and 75 tomorrow, which is good enough for me to head down to Mandalay Bay's "beach" for a dip. In my one-piece. Or maybe I'll brave the bikini since I doubt I'll ever see any of those people ever again. Who's paying attention to me, anyway? They're all either worried about their own fat, or content with it enough not to give a damn about mines. Right? Right.

Anyway, I'd better get ready to go. Hasta luego.

More when I return.

I want to be a jet setter when I grow up

Whenever someone starts talking about their travels – what they bought in Timbuktu, how it smells in India and Paris, sailing across the jungle sky in Costa Rica – I get jealous. Having never left the country, I have nothing to add to the conversation and that really sucks. But traveling is in my bones, I can feel it. In all my years I haven’t been able to do much more than local travel though (local being Las Vegas, driving across the country to St. Louis, a weekend in New York) because of my parental responsibilities and super (duper) weak bank account. But now that my son is growing out of the nest (3 more years and he’ll be a technical adult! Where did the time go!?) and my bank account is getting stronger, I’m planning and preparing to get my travel on. I want a passport, dammit! with lots and lots of stickers on it. I want to see Paris at night in the spring, ride a bike in Bali, learn to hula in Tahiti, see the castles in England, stargaze in Tunisia, Brazil, Greece, Tuscany... I want to furnish my house with stuff I picked up in far away places and learn bits and pieces of a language or 3. All I want to do in my 40s and 50s is travel and remodel my house. That would be so fucktastic. I already have plans in my head for my son’s room when he moves out, lol. French doors leading out onto the flagstone patio in the backyard will replace one of his window pairs. I’ll make his room my office/guest room with an insanely comfy sofa bed in there for daydreaming &/or sleep over’s. He doesn’t know this yet. It’ll be a surprise :) For me, it’ll be a dream. I've gotta start planning and saving!
I guess I'm thinking more about all of this now because he is growing up and my nest is going to be empty soon. I still can't believe it. My biggest role for the past 15 years was being his mother, so what will I do with myself once he no longer needs as much mothering? The plan is to to build, remodel, landscape, travel, and write. I'll start by taking classes at Home Depot in a few weeks. Then whatever upgrades I make I'll post pictures of.

Halloween pictures are up

See "fotos" to your right :)
I had a great time and glad I opted not to go to San Diego after all. I'm really not a party girl so walking around Hollywood, laughing at costumes and taking pictures was perfect for me. We saw plenty of sluts, and I mean SLUTS. Ass literally hanging out, women walking around in as little material as is legal...IN CALIFORNIA. haha. There were also a lot of creative and hilarious costumes, which to me is the essence of Halloween. Not slut fest. As you can see in the pics I was a Native American, sans slut appeal. I got a little lazy in the creating stages and just winged it, found an old belt in my closet, borrowed my moms necklace... Although I think I did a great job on my eye make up. Originally I was going to go as Peter Pans baby mama, Tiger Lilly complete with a baby in a papoose on my back but I decided what I had on was enough and I didn't want to have to explain the baby. Call me Sakajawea (sp?), Pocahontas, Tiger Lilly, or whatever, but you get the picture. After traipsing around Hollywood we went to IHOP for breakfast and then headed home around 1am. My son went to a haunted house with a few friends and then slept over his buddy's house and went to Hometown Buffet for breakfast this morning. He said his Halloween was awesome and that Marina called him and said that she took an extra bag with her trick or treating just for him. How sweet. She's bringing the bag full of candy to school with her on Monday. Oh, he finally confessed to me that she is, indeed, his girlfriend.
Mr. Ed Choppers is probably still in San Diego getting over a hangover. I hope she had a good time, though.